Blushing Groom To Be

Well, if you are friends with me on Facebook or follow my Instagram you know the news.  I’m getting married!  It’s been a whirlwind of events lately, but everything is falling into place.

With that in mind, they say that everything has to fall apart to fall into place, and I do agree.  I mean, everything didn’t completely fall apart, but some things did, and those things allowed for everything to fall together.  I am incredibly happy right now.  While there are others who aren’t as happy as she and I are, eventually they will come around.

Now, I’m not the foremost authority on relationships, but I do know what I believe will work, and I have complete faith in this relationship.  I know that we will put our best efforts into ensuring a long and happy life together.  Really, isn’t that what everyone wants, to be happy?

You will not be able to make everyone happy all the time, so focus on a few, including yourself.  When you are happy with yourself, the sky is the limit on what you can do.  I’m not just throwing some words together to make a complete sentence, I mean it - the happier and more confident you are in yourself, the more it will show, and you will attract like minded people and be able to form some amazing, meaningful relationships.

After that ephinany, I should end the blog post, but I’m not.

The podcast will have another episode soon, just finding enough time to do it, and creating a semi-coherent agenda.

As most of you know, I’m a active representative\salesperson for the supplement company Redcon1.  I wouldn’t sell a product I don’t support, and I have honestly been able to see results since using it.  Feel free to ask me for samples, or ask me any questions you might have, and I’ll get back with you as soon as possible.  I will soon be recommending specific products on my blog, but not so much as trying to sell it as trying to help you with your gains (or loses if that’s your goal).  Look for them soon, and if you do want to order, use this link and\or discount code T20JRiggs.

Until Next Time Dear Readers...

Story Time

So, from last post to now a whole lot as happened, and with everything the way it is, it make me want to tell a story.  Sit back, relax and enjoy this tale of mine.

Imagine there is a man.  This man dated a woman.  This woman planned a surprise visit (she lived an hour or so away) on the man’s birthday.  The man had went through some hard times and was briefly staying with his parents.  The man’s mother wasn’t fond of the man’s girlfriend because her outward appearance was unconventional.  The man loved the woman for her, her appearance doesn’t mean a lot to him, although she was beautiful.  The man’s mother thought it was very forward for the lady to show up, although she had already discussed it with the woman, and the man’s sister.  They knew, it wasn’t a surprise to them.  It was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.  The man’s mother decided to judge her without knowing everything about her and hearing her past, judged her on who she was, not who she is.  She isn’t the person she was, and the man isn’t the person he was, which for a very long time wasn’t in a good place.  Both the man and woman had pasts they weren’t proud of, but they did not let that define who they were now.

The man and woman had fallen deeply in love, and after a few months decided to move in together.  They found a place that would fit the woman’s children and the men’s children, as best as their budget would allow.  After another few months, keep in mind that the mans mother disliked the woman so bad, she did not want her or her children in her house.  It was very silly.

A few months later, the woman got pregnant.  The man wanted to avoid the drama of his mother’s reaction, so he chose not to tell her.  The man and woman were very happy, but she did not like the secrecy, and rightfully so.  Fast forward nine weeks, and they went to a doctor’s appointment.  The man and woman looked at the ultrasound screen in terror.  The doctor came in.  He informed that, yes, our baby was dead.  The precious life that they created was now in heaven.  It was too much for both of them.  They did not know how to react.  The woman decided to leave, go back to what she left before she met the man.  The man tried to find love, but he knew in his heart he still loved the woman.

A couple of months had went by, and things were bad enough that the woman realized, as she did when she left that she loved the man more than anything, and wanted to spend her life with him, and no other man.  The man left his girlfriend, the woman left the other man, and they reunited.  The mans mother still did not like the woman.  The man’s mother still had not tried to get to know the woman.  The future for the man and woman is solid, they know what they want and they deal with people naysaying on a regular basis.  They have hurt some people along the way, and they are not unfeeling towards what they have done.  They regret some actions, but they are working to rebuild some of the trust they lost during that time.  They are willing to prove their love, they do plan to spend the rest of their life together.  The man is upset with his mother, but his ex-wife is harassing him as well.

The man’s ex-wife, who has since remarried, to the boy that she cheated on the man with, has now stuck her nose into the man’s business.  She says she doesn’t want the children that they had together to be around the woman.  The ex-wife is upset because when she was married to the man, she could control him, as she is a very, very controlling person.  Now that she can’t control the man, it frustrates her to no end, so she tries to use their children as a tool to hurt him.  She doesn’t want their children around the woman, but she has never sat down and talked with her, she is judging only appearance.  The ex-wife is petty and a fool.  The ex-wife has no say on this and it is driving her to the point of calling the man and spending 5 minutes or so screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs at him. The man is not afraid of her, because she is a small person, and small people think only of themselves.

The man and the woman are happy.  All of their children are happy.  They are safe.  They are home.  The man loves the woman, and the woman loves the man.  There love is never ending but forever growing.  No matter what anyone says, they know that together they are stronger that their struggles.

End of Story, for now...

Sorry for the length on this post, but take what you will from this post, that’s all i can say.

Until next time, dear readers...

All Apologies

So, a lot of things have transpired since my last post.  I’ve made people mad, and I’ve made people happy, and I’ve came to the same conclusion that many people already have.  You can’t please everyone, and if you do, you are lying to them or to yourself.

I’ve never in my life set out to hurt anyone.  I’m not that type of person.  I have however, ended up hurting some people, and I will be eternally sorry for that.

In the end, you have to do what you feel is right in your heart.  You may make people mad when you do something that is right for you, and although that is horrible, again, you have to do what you feel is right for you,

So, you might notice the new website address.   I’ve been changing a few things, and this is one of them, the site is now mytypographything.com, since it has expanded beyond just a normal blog.

To those I’ve hurt, please know that it was never my intention, and that I do care for you deeply.  To those who are in my life, making me happy, thank you.  I haven’t really been this happy for some time, and it’s an amazing feeling.


Until next time, dear readers...

(Another) Word on Divorce

So, I still get a lot of questions about my divorce and how I’ve coped with it. Here’s what I’ll say, everything else (well, this too) is in my book, be looking for that.

My divorce.  It changed my life, in all sorts of ways, and really to this day affects me.  With no details being given, let’s just say I had a reason to mistrust, and there is little else on this earth that hurts like having to say goodbye to someone who is still living, especially when you have so much you’d like to say, but you know it would fall on deaf ears.

The night I was essentially kicked out of my own home was horrible, I still occasionally have nightmares that relive that evening.  I literally lost (almost) everything, with just four words, “I want a divorce.”  Of course, there were some problems, but the ones she was bringing up were things that had been resolved, so she was just looking for a reason, and I wasn’t ready to end things just yet, but that didn’t matter, she was done.  There was no, “Hey, I think we are having issues, let’s work on them,” there was just a “get out.”

It cuts incredibly deep, and has changed the way that I look at any new relationship.  I’ve been through several relationships, and there is always several factors that are different now.  First of all, I have three beautiful girls and their opinion means a great deal to me.  Being the sympathetic children they are, if they see that the person is making me happy, then they like them, if not, well, they let me know.  As I’m looking for a potential lifelong partner, their opinion is almost more important than mine in some regards.  I’ve had my parents weigh in on occasion, and again, I value their opinion, but what it all boils down to is trust.  Can I trust this person? There have been those I trusted, even after my divorce, which turned out to be a bad idea.  There has been a lot of emotions going through my head as I had tried to date.

Where am I at now?  Well, that’s my business, but let’s just say, finding the right person to trust and love isn’t easy, and when you do, it has the potential to be absolutely amazing.  I’m extremely careful whom I place my heart in care with.

A Word on Humility

Humility:  the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's ownimportance, rank, etc.

Ok, first off, humility is something everyone can achieve, so I want to squash that bug right now.  It takes a person to willing want to change their mindset from being a braggart to being quiet.

I try everyday to be a humble person, some say I am, others say I’m not, but although I do value other’s opinions, it’s not their opinion that means the most to me.  The opinions that matter moUIKeyInputDownArrowst are my own and those very close to me, but mainly my own.  If I can wake up, proud of who I am, then what the rest of the world thinks matters little.  I try my best to achieve humility, it’s a process that is continual and I will continue it for the rest of my life.

I’m at the gym, a lot.  There are a lot of people there who claim to be humble.  I hate to break it to you, but if say you are humble, or do acts of charity just to brag about them, then you are indeed not humble.  I joke around sometimes about how humble I am (usually quoting any of Muhamad Ali’s speeches), but that’s what it is, a joke.  I do not believe I am humble, I believe I am a work in progress, and will forever be so.  I hope to be so.  

Signs you aren’t humble:

1. You say this when someone tells you an accomplishment of theirs, “Oh yeah, well I did...”
2. You look for ways to help people where it will be noticed publicly.
3. When you think “This will make me look good” before you do something.
4. You are Muhamad Ali

Of course, this is a short list, but it’s the majority of the stuff I see.  It does upset me that people act this way, and it upsets me more that people fall for it. 

Until next time, dear readers...

Simple Relationship Advice

So, I get a lot of questions asking for advice in different aspects of relationships.  I don’t know why, I clearly am not a good example when it comes to ships, as in relationships.  However, I am learning. Here, in my famous format, is a list of tips for relationships.

1. Never stop winning your partner over, just because you landed the relationship, it doesn’t mean you need to stop that.
2. Learn.  Things may go good, or go bad, but learn, and admit your part and work on it.
3. Love yourself first.  You are an amazing person, and you need to realize that before you let anyone try to love you the way you need to be specifically loved.
4. Put your phone down.
5. Listen.  Don’t just hear what they are saying, but listen.
6. Sometimes people just need compassion, not guidance.
7. Treat every day as a new opportunity to express how your partner makes you feel.
8. Don’t avoid issues, deal with them.
9. Be completely honest, not just with your partner, but yourself. Especially yourself.
10. When in doubt, talk it out.
11. Never miss an opportunity to praise your partner, not just in public, but in private too.
12. Long lasting relationships are not two people needing each other.  They are two people who do NOT NEED one another, but choose every day that they WANT each other, and show their partner that at every opportunity.

There, that’s a good start.  I am by no means saying I’m proficient at any of these, but these are a few of the things I’ve learned that help relationships grow and stay strong.  If you feel you can’t do all of these, gladly and with pride, maybe it’s not the right relationship. There is no rule that says if you are in love with someone that they are the right person for you.  As someone who has had several failed attempts at relationships (including a failed marriage), let me tell you, sometimes your love for someone isn’t the same as their love for you. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed is not a part of a healthy, “right” relationship.

I can’t tell you if you are with the right person, and even if I did, what are the chances you would really listen?  As humans, we don’t like to admit we are ever wrong, because over the centuries being wrong has been associated with being a failure.  I’ve learned more about myself and about life in general by being wrong than I ever have by being right.  Being wrong has brought me to where I am in my life, and right now, I’m pretty happy.  I know that there is still a lot of work for me to do, but getting things wrong is how I will get there.  

Until next time, dear readers...

A Simple Yes or No

In life, we as human beings tend to try to over complicate things.  We create problems where non exist.  On the other side of that coin, we also have a tendency to overlook problems, or ignoring issues all together.  We are a complicated species.

I’ve been guilty of both sides of this problem on multiple occasions, and will likely continue to do so to a certain degree.  I had written up my next blog post and it was more or less a rant piece on why people can’t see what’s glaring at them in the face sometimes.  Even with someone pointing it out,m it’s like they have blinders on in that regard.  It ended up getting more personal than I had intended, which made me realize, I was too close to the situation.  I really took a few steps back any analyzed  (over analyzed I’m sure), the situation  and that’s when it dawned on me.  Sometimes when people say they want your help, that’s not exactly what they mean.  They mean they want your support, even if you see the dangers of their actions, they just want you there to listen, to tell them it will be ok, even if that may be a lie.

There is a big difference between respecting someone’s choice and agreeing with it.  Sometimes we get so fixated on an end result, we ignore bothe the good things and bad things that happen along that journey.  I still respect my friends choices, and I won’t point out any red flags anymore,  I will acknowledge the good things that were a result of that person’s choices. Admittedly that puts me in a quiet position most of the time, but people will see what they want to see and are quick to place blame on those who point out someone else’s error.  People need to choose for themselves what they will and won’t accept in regards to how they are treated.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.  I grew up with a mindset that right is right and wrong is wrong. You don’t act a certain way, and you don’t allow yourself to be treated a certain way.  People grow up differently though, and what isn’t acceptable to one person is completely acceptable to another.  I’m not saying one person is right and the other wrong, I’m just saying their perspectives aren’t the same.  

Sometimes being honest means not being kind, or telling people things they already know, but don’t want to hear.  I’ve started implementing a very simplistic way of thinking.  It’s a yes or no system.  Does the person know what you are going to tell? Yes? No need to tell again, they don’t want to hear it. Will it harm the person to say it? Yes? Don’t say it.  Do they want your opinion? No? Just give them your support and be there to listen,  A lot of life’s big issues can actually be boiled down to a yes or no answer system.  Do you know it’s harmful? Then don’t do it. Do you have faith that it can be done? If yes, put you’re all into it.  Always remember though, if your all isn’t good enough for it, it’s not good enough for you.

Also, I want to bring up for the billionth time the word honesty. Just be honest, it saves time, heartache and so much more,  I respect someone who hurts my feelings by being honest so much more than someone who lies to try to not hurt them.

Until next time, dear readers...