Don’t be That Person

Never let someone else’s negative or misplaced attitude and actions discourage you from becoming the best person you can be. 

A Word on Self Growth

 Dear readers,

I try to post the positive, but alas, not everything is sunshine and roses.  Riggs Leatherworks is starting to take off which makes me happy  Unfortunately, there are people in this world who just can't have a positive spin on the things they do.

As my father and I were making our way back from DFW, my mom called and said the place where our storage units where (he has one, I have one) said my locker had been broken into.  This isn't new, this happens on a regular basis, however, this time they were right.

Starting from the back of my approximately 8x20ft unit, they started at the back and ransacked everything possible. All this on a day special to our family (It was my grandfather's birthday).  Police were called, reports were made, but it looks like the perpetrators fife't have enough sense to cover some of their tracks, so we might have a good lead soon.

Now, I also had gotten food poisoning that day unbeknownst to be.  That has mostly finished wrecking my body at least. 

There are a lot of negatives, but I must be growing, because, while I am upset, I know that I'll get through it, and that whoever decided to play around in my storage isn't important.  Things aren't important, people are.

Like I said, I must be growing emotionally even at my oldish age.

Me as a Benedictine Monk

Look for more positives coming, I'm about 12,000 words into the book about Bushido, and I'm up to my neck in work for clients.  I've been busy, and at times it's a bit overwhelming, but I got this.

Until next time, dear readers...

P.S. - I know quite a few of you read the first chapter of my book, would anyone be interested in an audio version? Let me know!

Day by Day

A lot of you know that I'm currently in a medical position that working isn't possible.  The alternative for now is to stay at home, and either read, clean house or watch TV.  I admit, I do a lot of the latter.

I've got a lot on my plate, but everything takes time. With all this "free" time, I've did a lot of reflecting.  Reflection is good, but it's really what you do with what you learn from said reflection.  There are a lot of things in my life I need to work on, some I can do on my own, some I can't.  For instance, I can really get back to writing on my own, but as for my medical issues, I have to rely on professionals for that.  That being said, it takes the correct professionals, as I have found that some of the ones where I live should go back to school. For my GI\hernia issues, there is a particular surgeon I've seen who I'm now convinced should not be allowed to do anything regarding GI and hernia issues, as I now have worse problems than when I began seeing that doctor.  I won't mention names, obviously, but I have filed formal complaints to the hospital and state agencies. 

Enough of my complaining, what I really want to talk about is the parts I can work on by myself.  As I mentioned, writing is one of the key areas I'd like to get back to focusing on, so little by little, I force myself to sit down, open up my book in progress and write.  A little more each day goes a long way to the end product.  That made me think (the philosophical part of me kicks in), if I make a little progress each day (on anything, not just my writing), then I can see the change, but others can not.  Sometimes we make a lot of progress (any progress is great), but if we depend or rely on the opinion of others for validation of that progress, we will be let down 99% of the time, and that in turn will cause us not to progress any more.

Right now, there is a lot of negativity in my life that I'm having to deal with.  Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of positivity as well, it's just that the negativity level is too far up the meter.  I do my best to deal with it, in my own way.  I can not rely on others to tell me I'm doing well handling it, because everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has their own view on how things should be handled.  Guess what?  I've got this.  I can and will deal with everything, but just as progress on my book, the progress on dealing with the negative people and things in my life is slow as well.  If you remember the inventory process that I've mentioned several times, there are people on this inventory list that I can not (or will not) cut out, no matter how negative and downright mean they are.  In the end, I love these people, and in their own way, I know they love me. 

To wrap this up, I would hope that your takeaways from this rant are that 1) Any progress is great, and 2) Don't look for others for validation.

As always, feel free to write me with your comments\questions\concerns and I will respond, as always.

Until next time, dear readers...

Things I Learned in the Hood

I grew up watching Mister Rogers.  I watched him change into a cardigan, changes his shoes, and teach me about being a kind, gentle human being.  Sometimes his lessons were so simple, but the message attached was incredibly large and complex.  With some of the things that have been going on in my life, I started thinking about this, What Would Fred Rogers Do?  Not super catchy, but it got me to thinking, and here are 20 life lessons from Mister Rogers, and a little about what they mean to me.

• Each One of Us Is Special and Unique
• This is something that I've tried to pass on to my children.  There is not another one of them in the world, and there never will be.
• You're Never Wrong to Have Feelings
• This hits home right now, because I have said this innumerable times lately to one of my daughters.  She has been made to feel guilty for feeling how she is feeling.  If you are so narcissistic that you try to make your children feel guilty for not feeling the way they should, you should not be allowed around children at all.
• Love is Sacred
• The L word isn't something to use lightly, although it is so often.  Love who you want, for whatever reason you want.  As long as you are both rowing the boat in the same direction, you will reach your destination.
• Use your Imagination
• As we get older, we start being way too analytical, we need to see things with the mind of a child.  We could get so much more accomplished as a species if more people trusted their imagination.
• Stay Positive
• This is so hard.  I try my best, but I often have to make it an active thing to stay positive.  Things could be worse, so be happy and thankful for what you have.
• Look for the Helpers
• This was something Mister Rogers mother had told him.  There is so much chaos going on in our world, and so much negativity, but look for those helping.  They are the ones who are compassionate towards their fellow man, we all should be helpers.
• There is a Very Simple Key to Success
• As Mister Rogers said, there are three ways to succeed.  The first, is to be kind.   The second is to be kind.  The third? Be KIND.  No need to elaborate.  Don't break Wheaton's law.
• Listen
• Do not hear things to respond, listen to things to think.  There is a huge difference between hearing and listening.
• Don't Avoid Difficult Subjects
• Things happen.  Loved ones die, people get divorced, and people fall on hard times.  Be there for your children, so them, tell them what you are going through, let them know that they have the right to feel however they want to, just don't let them forget that they are loved.
• You Don't have to be Perfect
• I still have problems with this one.  We are all flawed.  The term perfectly flawed does apply to this, in the sense that we are who we are.  Our flaws might be severe, but without them, we couldn't be who we are.  Our flaws don't define us, how we handle them does.
• There's More to Life than Coming in First
• I've had numerous coaches in varying sports over the years, and the best among them, in my opinion, did not have the goal of being first.  I'm sure they wouldn't have minded it, but it was more crucial that the team works together, has fun and improves their ability.
• Embrace Growth and Change
• Things change with the times, holding on to the past is only holding you back.
• Imagine
• This is slightly different than using your imagination, in a sense.  Imagine what you can be.  Imagine what you can do.  Dream it, and make it real.
• The Things that Frighten you aren't Really that Scary
• This is an excellent lesson for all of us.  Obviously, the smaller message was explained to the children, those shadows at night in your room? Not real, you are bigger than them.  The larger message, we a bigger than any of our problems, we can and will get through them, and once you conquer them, things aren't quite so scary anymore.
• Take the Time to do a Good Job
• Anything worth doing is worth doing right.  Whatever you do, your name is attached to your work.  No matter what it is, put forth your best effort.  The harder part is figuring our what is worth your time and effort.
• There's Another Kind of Superhero
• Of course, not all superheroes wear capes.  As he was growing up, Mister Roger's fundamental ideas of what a hero was began to change.  Superman and the like, were of course heroes to him, but on a basic kind of level.  The real heroes are the men and women that go to work everyday to fight for our freedom, who maintain our civility and who do not know if they will return home safely at the end of the day.  That - is THE definition of a hero.
• Don't let Differences Divide People
• During the run on his show, racism and segregation were the norm, or it was for his generation, but he taught us that people are people. That's the lesson.  It doesn't matter what they look like, what color they are, how they identify themselves, none of it - none of it matters, because you know why? People are People, and we should show love and respect to them.
• Teach a Child to Love Books
• This starts with the parent.  Read bedtime stories to your children.  Practice your imagination, and just take the book in but make up a story involving them.  Use a different voice for each character, it will make them love diving into the stories from the pages or from your imagination.  Show them that reading is the key to maintaining a healthy imagination.
• Don't Forget What Really Matters
• Sometimes life is overwhelming, but just take a few minutes, sit back and remember what really matters.  Your family, your health, your happiness.
• Be Yourself
• Don't be fake. If you are fake, you will have fake friends, and when you are in a crisis, those fake friends will be nowhere around.  Do what you want, act like yourself, if people don't like it, that's not your fault, that is on them.  Be genuine, by amazing, be you!

I know this was quite a longer entry than usual,, but there is a lot going on, and I use this medium as a form of therapy.  I get a lot of feedback from you, dear reader, and I take in the good with the bad, because if you do not address your shortcomings, then they will lead to a large problem.  Please send me your comments\questions\concerns to me (jaydee.riggs atgmail.com), and I'll include some of them in my next entry!

Until next time, dear readers...

Moving On

Well, the time has come.  I have to do something I don’t really want to do, but should do.  Layla is going to be sold.  For those of you who don’t remember, Layla is my Hummer.  My 2003 Yellow H2.  My beastie.  

While, yes, I am a little broke up over having to get rid of her, it’s not so much that event that’s changing to much in my life.  I’m starting my life with a woman who loves and car3es for me, and I do the same in return to her, I’ve moved houses, changed schedules, changed diet, there is just a lot going on. I’m muddling through right now, but I will get on top of things pretty quickly, at least, that’s th hope.

One thing I wanted to move forward with and have been working on forever is the “Regular Dad” series.  The idea started years ago, and I’ve made a few trailers, and wrote a few scripts, but I haven’t actually produced an episode, but that is going to be rectified soon.  

I do have a lot of projects coming at me, and it is hard to handle.  Plus, it’s not just projects, it’s problems.  Mine, others, doesn’t matter, I help as much as I can and try to fix things, and I realize that not everything can be fixed.  The other day I saw a post that said (basically) don’t be too busy filling others cups that you run out from your own.  In the past I was made to feel guilty for doing something for myself.  I was made to feel selfish and greedy for trying to help myself, trying to bring up my spirits.

For those of you following my body transformation progress, know that July was officially bulk month.  At least, that’s what I’m calling it.  I got really busy with work, family and moving that I paid little attention to meal planning, but that has changed.  August shall be the month of gains!!!

Until next time, dear reader...

Unconditional

So, some people will take this post as a post on religion, but it's not.  It is however, a look on unconditional love, and I will use examples of teachings that have been around for millennia.  I have re-written this several times because, honestly I was afraid of offending anyone, but in reality, we should be able to listen to someone’s point (or counterpoint) without taking it as a personal attack.  No one is going to think exactly as you do on every subject imaginable, so you might as well just respect their opinion and realize just because someone believes one thing, it does not in any way represent a personal attack on you.  If I talk about something that makes you feel guilty, then, that is your own conscience telling you something. Listen to it.

Unconditional love, by definition is that, love without conditions.  No stipulations, no borders, no limits.  Jesus spent time with sinners as well as saints.  I use Jesus because no matter what your personal beliefs, He can be used as an example of how to live, but more importantly how to love.

He did not love those or interact with those who could only better His position, to the contrary, He was often looked down upon because of the company He kept.  I mean, one of His most trusted apostles was, before the fact, a murderer and persecutor of Christians.  He knew that people can change, and that no one has the right to judge anyone, other than their own self and their higher authority, whatever your belief may or may not be. 

The problem with modern religion is that it is in fact, not modern, at least for the most part.  Unconditional love should be the basis for all religions.  Acceptance is a lesson in humility and humanity.  Judging someone for their past actions or appearance is not something that is taught in most religions, but it is practiced routinely.  Take tattoos as a prime example.  They are mentioned a lot in the Bible, and only once has a negative connotation, and that's when you scar your body for unholy ceremonies for the dead.  Honestly, do you really think that no one had tattoos back then?  Given, it was more of a female thing, but it was very prominent and Isaiah had believers tattoo themselves as belonging to God.  Just saying, any arguments against tattoos are invalid and those arguing the counterpoint should read their texts a little closer and not pick and choose what to take from it.

Yes, I have tattoos, and yes, I plan on getting more, and no, I do not feel guilty for doing so.  The point of this post is truly that not everyone is alike, not 100%, there will always be things that you don’t agree upon, but that doesn’t mean it is an attack on you or your character.  Some people like mustard, if you don’t it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you, but hopefully it means they won’t put mustard on your hamburger at the next cookout.

We are all different.  We are all unique.  We all deserve a little kindness and respect, so be sure to realize that others deserve that too and give them those things, without expectations.  Unconditional humanity, if you will.  I know I’m not going to change the world with one simple blog post, but we as a species are capable of so much more than what we are currently.  Focusing on hate or anger is the most counterproductive thing we can do as sentient beings.  Now, I’m sure I’ll get some “hate” mail from this post, but if you are contemplating sending that argumentative email to me, please re-read this post, I haven’t attacked anyone (even if they like mustard), I’ve expressed my view point which you can take or leave, I am by no means telling you that you have to agree with me.  Part of being human is the disagreements, but it’s moreso about the conversations about those disagreements. Super simplified - Make love, not war.  

Until next time, dear readers...

Truths Be Told Here

OK, so being honest is one of the best traits a person can have.  Honesty is always the best route to take, even if it hurts.  Why does it hurt though when we tell the truth?  Sometimes when we tell the truth it may hurt others feelings, but if you lie to them, you are not only delaying that hurt, but making it a lot worse because that person will know you lied to them when they find out the truth.  Sometimes we lie for our own personal reasons, almost a self preservation mechanism.  For instance, children will often lie when asked if they did something wrong, even if they did it right in front of you.  It almost seems like deception is in our nature, but with work and perseverance, you can win that battle.  Here are a few truths (with my now famous “no explanation” list):

1. I don’t always call people back.
2. M&Ms are my go-to cheat snack. They will be the death of me.
3. As much as I try not to, I will let some people down, and it hurts deeply each time.
4. I have a very small circle of very close friends, and a medium circle of great friends.
5. I worked in a call center for a flower company for a week, but the callers were way too negative for me.
6. I love photography.
7. My goal is to be a personal trainer full time.
8. I don't always smile, but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy.
9. I have cut my left knee open twice, once when I was 4 and once when I was 12.
10. I have a fondness for all superheroes, but I specifically have a Batman complex.
11. I have five tattoos, with plans for more.

I know, kind of random, but sometimes my brain is random.  As always, you can send me all your comments, questions, or concerns, directly to me at jaydee.riggs@gmail.com.  And for those of you wondering about the next podcast, hold on tight, it is in the works.

Until next time, dear readers...

A Lesson About Selfies

So, I take selfies.  Gym selfies specifically.  Over the past few years, some of my friends have given me a hard time about it, joking that I was being narcissistic.  I’m not, I swear.  Whether I post the selfies or not doesn’t really matter, I take them (but often post them).  It’s not about bragging about my progress, it’s not about wanting compliments, it’s nothing like that at all.

What is it about then? Motivation.  I take progress pictures of my body transformation on a regular basis.  I take body measurements, I compare only to myself, because I am only in competition with myself.  Do I have the biggest arms? The flattest stomach? An eight pack? Pecs that would make The Rock jealous? Of course not, nor do I expect to.  I have every expectation that I am making progress, and the best proof of that is photographic evidence of my journey.

My goal is to improve my physique and health by eating right, working out regularly and eliminating the unnecessary. I’m lucky enough to have two ladies in my life that will gladly go to the gym with me, and they have no idea how much that means to me.  I’ve mentioned it in a post before, but working out with a partner makes you more likely to push for that extra rep, or try that extra 10 pounds on the deadlift.

Every so often, my oldest daughter, Victoria, and I  will do a max out day.  It’s exactly what it sounds like.  We take turns pushing ourselves on all of our normal exercises.  She has impressed me quite a bit with her abilities, but she does something extremely well that I have some problems with.  Knowing her limitations. I push myself, and don’t get me wrong, she pushes herself too, but she knows when she has reached her max.  So, in contrast, I have a good feeling when I’ve hit my max, but I still try just a little more.  Now, you might be thinking this is a good thing, and to a certain degree it is, but it can also welcome injuries.  I know my body well enough to know when I need to stop, but having the ability to tell myself “Don’t try that” is hard sometimes.

My fiancé and I will go workout together as well, and I can’t express enough how much she impresses me.  She has got the drive that most people only dream about.  When she starts a set, she finishes, or goes out trying.  She pushes herself to the point of exhaustion and it’s something that took me a while to get the hang of.  A lot of people won’t attempt that last rep of a set when it hurts.  They think, “oh that’s close enough” but in reality, you may make more gains from that last rep than the ones preceeding it.  She is aware that it will hurt.  She openly acknowledges it as a matter of fact.  She knows it will hurt, but she knows she will benefit from the pain, so, she presses on.  Absolutely amazing.

Now, back to the issue of selfies.  As I said, I get a lot of ribbing over my gym selfies, and I take it in stride.  I often play along with it, and here are a few examples of conversations that should show you that I don’t take myself all that seriously.

Friend: When taking my gym selfies, which hand should I use to take the picture?

Me: You right handed or left handed?

Friend:  What do I need to be thinking about to get that awesome expressionless look you have in your pics?

Me:  I pretend that I’m being attacked by a monster that can sense emotions, so I stop them.  All of them.

Friend:  What if someone else is around you or the mirror when you are ready to take your selfie?

Me:  Hand them your phone and tell them to take your picture.

Friend:  Geez, you sure like to look at yourself.

Me: Not really, but apparently you do, you’ve liked every selfie I’ve ever posted.

Friend:  Yes. Shut up.

So, as you can see, it’s silly stuff, but I welcome any and all comments, after all, I might need to be knocked down a few notches, you know, to #stayhumble.

Until next time, dear readers...

A Word on Humility

Humility:  the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's ownimportance, rank, etc.

Ok, first off, humility is something everyone can achieve, so I want to squash that bug right now.  It takes a person to willing want to change their mindset from being a braggart to being quiet.

I try everyday to be a humble person, some say I am, others say I’m not, but although I do value other’s opinions, it’s not their opinion that means the most to me.  The opinions that matter moUIKeyInputDownArrowst are my own and those very close to me, but mainly my own.  If I can wake up, proud of who I am, then what the rest of the world thinks matters little.  I try my best to achieve humility, it’s a process that is continual and I will continue it for the rest of my life.

I’m at the gym, a lot.  There are a lot of people there who claim to be humble.  I hate to break it to you, but if say you are humble, or do acts of charity just to brag about them, then you are indeed not humble.  I joke around sometimes about how humble I am (usually quoting any of Muhamad Ali’s speeches), but that’s what it is, a joke.  I do not believe I am humble, I believe I am a work in progress, and will forever be so.  I hope to be so.  

Signs you aren’t humble:

1. You say this when someone tells you an accomplishment of theirs, “Oh yeah, well I did...”
2. You look for ways to help people where it will be noticed publicly.
3. When you think “This will make me look good” before you do something.
4. You are Muhamad Ali

Of course, this is a short list, but it’s the majority of the stuff I see.  It does upset me that people act this way, and it upsets me more that people fall for it. 

Until next time, dear readers...