Meetings and Partings

In our life we will have many meetings and partings.  I have spoke about this before. Some partings are final, some are not. Meetings happen all the time. 

Something to think about is that you will have just as many partings as you do meetings, in one way or another. I know it’s morbid,  but eventually we will all have to say goodbye to everyone, so make the time you have with people count. 

Without going into detail out of respect for both parties, let just say I'm not in the same relationship I had been in. I'm not upset about my situation, in fact I have three wonderful ladies who keep me pretty busy as it is.   

I know people like a good story, but the long and the short of it is that sometimes people just are not compatible. It’s the lead a horse to water saying in practical application, going both ways, if that makes sense. I’ve learned a lot about myself, good and bad, but more than anything I discovered my self worth. 

Someone once told me to focus on myself and the right people will enter my life, well, that seems very true at this point. I do have a great support system and a back log of leather projects, so that helps a lot. I am at a point where the future is looking pretty good.  I do have some things to get past, and I do have to get back on my diet and exercise plan that I've neglected. And my writing! I now have so much to add, I might get it completed!

Sometimes things hurt.  Things hurt for a reason.  I have been told for some time from multiple sources, that people come into your life to be a lesson or a blessing, I believe this.  There isn't a positive or negative connotation added to this, it's just a fact. I have learned a lot and although there have been so many reasons for me never to try again, I am and I will, and I'm very happy with that part of my life right now.

Everyday is a struggle. Work (Leather business), depression, anxiety, children, people who want to butt into your business, the list goes on and on.  I'm dealing with it on a daily basis, and it wears me down, but when you have the right and true people in your life, it gets easier, and that's where I'm at, well, I'm at the beginning of that phase.

Thank you for a the birthday wishes yesterday, it made me feel incredibly loved!

There are more adventures ahead, we will just have to see what they are, but rest assured, things will not get dull.

Until next time dear readers...

Everybody’s Working For The Weekend

Yeah, I borrowed a lyric from a song for the title, big whoop.  It’s actually relevant to my blog post, so I did it, sorry - not sorry.

Let’s dig right in.  The “ideal” workweek for Americans (and all of us Earthlings probably) is Monday through Friday 8 or 9 AM to 5 PM.  I know that’s not what the majority works (and the world couldn’t function if we all did), but the idea I’m trying to convey is that everyone wants a break.  They want some time to relax, work on a home project, or spend time with loved ones, more time than the 5PM - Bedtime schedule that the weekday provides.

::Enter Weekend, Stage Left::

The weekend, it seems to be the answer to all of life’s problems.

::Exit Weekend, Stage Right::

The weekend is never long enough.  Vacations are amazing, and they too, never seem long enough.  Actually sometimes too much of the wrong vacation seems like more than long enough, too long in fact.  That however, is a different story completely.  We spend so much time getting ready to relax or preparing for a break that the “normal” days go so fast because we are in a kind of autopilot.

Those who are friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram know that a few weeks ago I had a cardiac scare.  My chest was hurting, I was’t as responsive as I should have been... It was just an awful experience and ended up getting a clean bill of health for my heart, but my GI system is being suspected of causing the heart attack like symptoms.  That makes more sense because I had GI issues as a teenager, and I really figured if I was going to have a heart attack it would have been at the gym, either doing squats or on the treadmill.

It made me realize that each day is special.  Every single day we are given, we can never get back, so it's best to make the most of each one.  Tell those you love that you love them, don't assume they know, it means a lot to someone to get validation or confirmation that you relationship is solid.

This is the point in my blog where I tell you if you want to make a life change, do it.  Don't wait, you might not get the opportunity to do it again.  Take the trip, kiss your love, embrace your children.  It's been said many times, but this hold true - your biggest regret will be not doing it.  Our most precious resource is time, and we each have a limited amount.

I'm not just talking to you, my lovely readers, but to myself as well.  I have some (potentially) life changing things in my future, and I'm ready.  Will I be scared? Probably, better pack more underwear.  Will I do my best?  Yes, and better.  If you have anything you've been wanting to start, whether it be getting in shape, changing careers or asking that special someone to be yours, do it.

Now, for those interested, I will be preaching this very message (slightly edited) to Cassie when we go on a plane or boat (she likes neither), or when I'm trying to talk her into riding a scary roller coaster.  There will probably be video if that happens.

As I draw to a close on this post, I wanted to thank you, dear reader.  I have a lot of readers, and a lot of questions sent to me, and you can keep them coming.  I personally answer each question, and sometimes I post them here in case a lot of people ask the same question.  I started writing this blog years ago as kind of a therapy, writing is very cathartic for me. Between this blog, my book of short stories, my biography, and my neglected personal journal I do write a lot.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have been a part of that therapy and I thank you.

Until next time, dear readers...

Truths Be Told Here

OK, so being honest is one of the best traits a person can have.  Honesty is always the best route to take, even if it hurts.  Why does it hurt though when we tell the truth?  Sometimes when we tell the truth it may hurt others feelings, but if you lie to them, you are not only delaying that hurt, but making it a lot worse because that person will know you lied to them when they find out the truth.  Sometimes we lie for our own personal reasons, almost a self preservation mechanism.  For instance, children will often lie when asked if they did something wrong, even if they did it right in front of you.  It almost seems like deception is in our nature, but with work and perseverance, you can win that battle.  Here are a few truths (with my now famous “no explanation” list):

1. I don’t always call people back.
2. M&Ms are my go-to cheat snack. They will be the death of me.
3. As much as I try not to, I will let some people down, and it hurts deeply each time.
4. I have a very small circle of very close friends, and a medium circle of great friends.
5. I worked in a call center for a flower company for a week, but the callers were way too negative for me.
6. I love photography.
7. My goal is to be a personal trainer full time.
8. I don't always smile, but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy.
9. I have cut my left knee open twice, once when I was 4 and once when I was 12.
10. I have a fondness for all superheroes, but I specifically have a Batman complex.
11. I have five tattoos, with plans for more.

I know, kind of random, but sometimes my brain is random.  As always, you can send me all your comments, questions, or concerns, directly to me at jaydee.riggs@gmail.com.  And for those of you wondering about the next podcast, hold on tight, it is in the works.

Until next time, dear readers...

Everyday Problems

So,  I’ve had a lot of people congratulating me on my fitness progress.  I have personally thanked each person, and I am proud of my outward transformation.  Losing 50+ pounds is an amazing feet for anyone, so I am not selling myself short, rest assured.  Now, the everyday problems I face aren’t so much outward as inward.

This might be a shocker to some, but I have mentioned this previously, I am bipolar, type 2. What does that mean? It means I have mood swings more than the normal person does (because even normal people have mood swings, don’t lie to yourself), and I end up depressed more than happy (or manic\hypomanic).  As a result, I try to keep all my feelings bottled up and inside.  I try to focus on the task at hand so I’m not worried about the million other things going on in my mind.  Like what things? Everyday things.  Do I have enough money for bills, groceries, and gas? Can I buy this thing I think I need and still be ok at the end of the month? How long can I drive with the needle on E?  Simple everyday stuff like that is what I dwell on and end up assuming the worst.  

How do I deal with it?  Well, medication sometimes helps (not at the moment), but otherwise I do like I said, get super focused on a task at hand.  As a result, when you see me at the gym, I have a very determined look on my face.  I didn’t get the nickname “The Machine” for nothing.  The down side to this is that when I’m in that mode, let’s use the gym as an example, it makes me very intimidating and unapproachable.  I don’t mean to come off that way, but I do see that when I’m in that mode, I can absolutely appear that way.  I can’t tell you how many messages I get from people I saw at the gym and they said they wanted to talk to me to say hi or whatever but it looked like I would have pulled them apart or screamed at them or something.  Let me assure you that I won’t do either.  If you want to talk to me, go for it, I’ll take my headphones off and take time for human contact.  You’ve got a green light, so go for it.

I always get a little kick out of when I hear about a wealthy person so started off with nothing talk about how their everyday money problems slowly went away and the problem was "what do I spend my money on?" instead.  That would be an awesome problem to have, just saying, but until then I think I can deal with the everyday problems, and I will, everyday.

Until next time, dear readers...

A Lesson About Selfies

So, I take selfies.  Gym selfies specifically.  Over the past few years, some of my friends have given me a hard time about it, joking that I was being narcissistic.  I’m not, I swear.  Whether I post the selfies or not doesn’t really matter, I take them (but often post them).  It’s not about bragging about my progress, it’s not about wanting compliments, it’s nothing like that at all.

What is it about then? Motivation.  I take progress pictures of my body transformation on a regular basis.  I take body measurements, I compare only to myself, because I am only in competition with myself.  Do I have the biggest arms? The flattest stomach? An eight pack? Pecs that would make The Rock jealous? Of course not, nor do I expect to.  I have every expectation that I am making progress, and the best proof of that is photographic evidence of my journey.

My goal is to improve my physique and health by eating right, working out regularly and eliminating the unnecessary. I’m lucky enough to have two ladies in my life that will gladly go to the gym with me, and they have no idea how much that means to me.  I’ve mentioned it in a post before, but working out with a partner makes you more likely to push for that extra rep, or try that extra 10 pounds on the deadlift.

Every so often, my oldest daughter, Victoria, and I  will do a max out day.  It’s exactly what it sounds like.  We take turns pushing ourselves on all of our normal exercises.  She has impressed me quite a bit with her abilities, but she does something extremely well that I have some problems with.  Knowing her limitations. I push myself, and don’t get me wrong, she pushes herself too, but she knows when she has reached her max.  So, in contrast, I have a good feeling when I’ve hit my max, but I still try just a little more.  Now, you might be thinking this is a good thing, and to a certain degree it is, but it can also welcome injuries.  I know my body well enough to know when I need to stop, but having the ability to tell myself “Don’t try that” is hard sometimes.

My fiancé and I will go workout together as well, and I can’t express enough how much she impresses me.  She has got the drive that most people only dream about.  When she starts a set, she finishes, or goes out trying.  She pushes herself to the point of exhaustion and it’s something that took me a while to get the hang of.  A lot of people won’t attempt that last rep of a set when it hurts.  They think, “oh that’s close enough” but in reality, you may make more gains from that last rep than the ones preceeding it.  She is aware that it will hurt.  She openly acknowledges it as a matter of fact.  She knows it will hurt, but she knows she will benefit from the pain, so, she presses on.  Absolutely amazing.

Now, back to the issue of selfies.  As I said, I get a lot of ribbing over my gym selfies, and I take it in stride.  I often play along with it, and here are a few examples of conversations that should show you that I don’t take myself all that seriously.

Friend: When taking my gym selfies, which hand should I use to take the picture?

Me: You right handed or left handed?

Friend:  What do I need to be thinking about to get that awesome expressionless look you have in your pics?

Me:  I pretend that I’m being attacked by a monster that can sense emotions, so I stop them.  All of them.

Friend:  What if someone else is around you or the mirror when you are ready to take your selfie?

Me:  Hand them your phone and tell them to take your picture.

Friend:  Geez, you sure like to look at yourself.

Me: Not really, but apparently you do, you’ve liked every selfie I’ve ever posted.

Friend:  Yes. Shut up.

So, as you can see, it’s silly stuff, but I welcome any and all comments, after all, I might need to be knocked down a few notches, you know, to #stayhumble.

Until next time, dear readers...

A Simple Yes or No

In life, we as human beings tend to try to over complicate things.  We create problems where non exist.  On the other side of that coin, we also have a tendency to overlook problems, or ignoring issues all together.  We are a complicated species.

I’ve been guilty of both sides of this problem on multiple occasions, and will likely continue to do so to a certain degree.  I had written up my next blog post and it was more or less a rant piece on why people can’t see what’s glaring at them in the face sometimes.  Even with someone pointing it out,m it’s like they have blinders on in that regard.  It ended up getting more personal than I had intended, which made me realize, I was too close to the situation.  I really took a few steps back any analyzed  (over analyzed I’m sure), the situation  and that’s when it dawned on me.  Sometimes when people say they want your help, that’s not exactly what they mean.  They mean they want your support, even if you see the dangers of their actions, they just want you there to listen, to tell them it will be ok, even if that may be a lie.

There is a big difference between respecting someone’s choice and agreeing with it.  Sometimes we get so fixated on an end result, we ignore bothe the good things and bad things that happen along that journey.  I still respect my friends choices, and I won’t point out any red flags anymore,  I will acknowledge the good things that were a result of that person’s choices. Admittedly that puts me in a quiet position most of the time, but people will see what they want to see and are quick to place blame on those who point out someone else’s error.  People need to choose for themselves what they will and won’t accept in regards to how they are treated.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.  I grew up with a mindset that right is right and wrong is wrong. You don’t act a certain way, and you don’t allow yourself to be treated a certain way.  People grow up differently though, and what isn’t acceptable to one person is completely acceptable to another.  I’m not saying one person is right and the other wrong, I’m just saying their perspectives aren’t the same.  

Sometimes being honest means not being kind, or telling people things they already know, but don’t want to hear.  I’ve started implementing a very simplistic way of thinking.  It’s a yes or no system.  Does the person know what you are going to tell? Yes? No need to tell again, they don’t want to hear it. Will it harm the person to say it? Yes? Don’t say it.  Do they want your opinion? No? Just give them your support and be there to listen,  A lot of life’s big issues can actually be boiled down to a yes or no answer system.  Do you know it’s harmful? Then don’t do it. Do you have faith that it can be done? If yes, put you’re all into it.  Always remember though, if your all isn’t good enough for it, it’s not good enough for you.

Also, I want to bring up for the billionth time the word honesty. Just be honest, it saves time, heartache and so much more,  I respect someone who hurts my feelings by being honest so much more than someone who lies to try to not hurt them.

Until next time, dear readers...

Start off With Truth

Ok, so, honesty is very important to me, so I’m going to take a minute and be completely honest with you.

At the moment, I am looking for direction in my life.  Being honest, I’m not where I want to be, and I am looking for the first step to get to where I want and\or need to be.  Do I want to spend the rest of my life at my current job, and living in my current situation? No.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I work with some great people, and I may not live in a palace, but I’m happy to have a place over my head.

The ways of the universe, under God’s command, have placed me where I am in this moment for a reason.  It’s not my job to try to find that reason, honestly, it’s my job to learn from my situation, what got me here, and try to better myself.  I’ve said it before, but the only person I’m in competition with is myself.  I just have to be better today than I was yesterday.  I feel like I’m doing that, to the best of my ability.   Everyday I learn something about myself or others that I can take to heart and work on\with.

Do I want to be single forever? No, I really don’t, no matter what type of front I put on.  Finding that someone to spend the rest of my time here on Earth with is not an easy task.  I have met some wonderful people that will always be my friend, no matter how anything else worked (or didn’t work) out.  I am grateful.  My heart is thankful for everything, good or bad, I am thankful.  It’s not like I’m trying to hide myself away or anything.  I am putting myself out there, I am trying, and maybe I should be, or maybe I shouldn’t be, I don’t really know.  I know that I want to take an active part in my life and not just watch everything pass me by.

I have many friends.  I’m not talking about Facebook friends, I mean people I’m friends with in real life, you know, that you can talk to, not just text to.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has an opinion on what I should be doing, or trying to do.  That’s great, I appreciate input.  The thing is though, it is their opinion, like I said, so it is what they think from their point of view with the amount of knowledge they have about the situation(s).  I listen, I don’t just hear them.  Who knows, I might get that one bit of inspiration from a friend who is actually talking about something else.  I mean things work out in mysterious ways sometimes.

I’ve been continuing writing a chapter in my book that I know will never be read, its a chapter for me.  This chapter really captures a lot of my heart, and although I am releasing a lot of knowledge about myself in this book, what I am writing now is something I will share with no one.  Call it a more in depth journal entry, or what have you, but getting it out does help, ever so slightly.

On a final note, the podcast is taking off quite well.  I’ve gotten a lot of feedback, more good than bad, so that’s a sign, right?  Well, I’m going to let some (maybe) good news escape here - I was limiting my podcasts to 15 minutes for several reasons, but I’ve had an overwhelming response and many have asked if I can address x issue, but to do so would increase my weekly record time, so I’m removing that limit.  I’ll address everything sent to me up to the point I record.  Woohoo?

Until next time dear readers...

Falling Into Place

Those of you who know me pretty well (and even not so well), know that I'm an optimist at heart.  I like to believe that good things happen to good people.  I like to believe that everything will eventually be ok.  I like to believe those things, but it's not always true.  I've generally been a good person, and I've had a lot of crap happen to me.  I've had a lot of adversity to overcome.  I've came out, for the most part, on top.

Without trying to sound terribly mean, I've heard that my ex-wife's boyfriend has said "looks like the better man won."  I whole-heartedly agree, but it's not him.  I'm a better person than I ever was when I was married.  That's not to say that my ex-wife held me back, or was a hindrance.  Well, that's what I'm trying not to say at least.  Since the divorce, I've been forced (kicking and screaming) to take a hard look at myself.  I've said before, I didn't like what I saw, and I really didn't.  I've changed my outlook completely on life.  I've started taking better care of myself and others in my life.  I'm just better off, but I really didn't start that journey until about six months ago.

Rewind the clock back to October 2017.  I was overweight.  Things weren't going my way.  I was unhappy, and by proxy made others around me unhappy.  To those people, I apologize, and I've tried to make up for it ever since.  I wasn't as heavy as I have ever been (which was 230 lbs, btw), but I was overweight.  I was around 215 or so and 30% of my body was fat.  I've came a long way.  I now weigh in at 172 lbs and 14% body fat.  How did I do it? Diet.  Exercise.  The most important of the two? Diet, hands down.  I switched to a high protein diet and well, I go to the gym a lot.  The muscle building has helped to mask what fat I have left on my body.  The diet though was the part that slimmed me down so much.  I now have that "V" shape that athletes strive for.  I'm not where I need to be, but, hey, I'm not done.

Six Month Progress Picture

A Few Progress Pictures

Again, am I where I want to be? Physically? Emotionally? Nope.  It's good to have goals, and one goal that I have is to simply move forward.  

Until next time dear readers...

The beat goes on...

Well, it appears that I get the most responses (and views) when I share personal information.  I like sharing, but sometimes that takes an emotional toll.  I literally feel tired after pouring my soul into a blog post.  Then I worry about what people will think. Then I remember, I am not defined by what others think of me, but what I think of myself.  It's a cycle.  However, in keeping with the more personal theme, I'm going to do so again, but about a different topic.

A couple of years ago I was heavy.  I was unhappy.  I had no energy.  Obviously the divorce was causing some of the unhappiness, but my health was playing a large factor in it.  I didn't know that at the time.  From that time until about 5 months ago, I had a lot of bad things happen.  Some were my fault, some were not.  I had to change something, and I didn't know what.  Everything I thought was causing me problems, I eliminated, yet I was still exactly where I was when I started.

One day, about 5 months ago, I stepped on my scale.  I was 215 pounds, and had 30% body fat.  That was nuts, a third of my body was fat.  That got me to thinking.  What am I eating?  What am I doing to burn off the fat?  The answers were crap food, and jack squat, respectively.  I started reading.  I read some more.  I read nutritionists blogs, and personal trainers notes.  I studied the relationship between muscle groups, and the right way to lose weight.  I didn't just want to lose weight though.  I wanted to gain muscle.

Over the last 5 months, I've did that.  I'm at 172 pounds, 15% body fat, and I'm down to a pant size of 33 (formerly 38-40).  I'm not done.  I've reached all of my initial goals.  I'm leaner, I'm stronger, and in the right places, I'm bigger.  Life is a process of continually updating our goals.  I've updated my goals.  I no longer have a weight goal, since my original one was 185 and I've blown that away.  I'm now focusing on trying to get my body fat to 10%.  I also have size goals for each of my muscle groups, and those will take a little longer, but I'm making progress.

Now, I have people that I'm helping with meal plans, exercise plans, and instructing on those plans.  I've been doing that for a while, but this week I launched riggsfitness.com and I've gotten more clients now.  For me, I know I can help, but I've decided to get my certification as a personal trainer and strength coach.  I've spent a lot of hours on these topics, so a little more studying for the exams is going to be completely doable.  I have a transformation challenge coming up on that site, but I'll post more about it later. #riggs

Just for the first 15 of my readers, use code a2eqm3 and get 50% off any plans.  I appreciate each and every one of you.  Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement, without them, I wouldn't be as far as I am today. You guys rock.

Until next time dear readers...

A Little Update

I had (as usual) a lot of responses to my last post.  There were some really good, personal ones that I've replied to privately, and I really want to thank everyone for taking time to send me feedback.  As always, you guys rock.

I thought I'd continue with the real talk, but also include some personal updates. I'll separate them out so you can skip a section if you don't won't to read it.

Fitness\Health
The lifestyle change has been going very well.  I do occasionally cheat, but honestly, it might actually be good, since I'll be getting some fats I normally cut out of my diet.  Good and bad fats, it's a trade-off.  So I've lost 59.5 total pounds, and 12.6% body fat.  I'm at 176.6 and 17.4%.  I'm getting within reach of my body fat goal (15%). I'm almost ten pounds below my weight goal, which isn't bad, it's actually pretty awesome.  Visual body fat is all but gone, just some on the mid section, which is always the last place is comes off.  My abs are poking through now, so, yeah. Cool.

Personal
I've decided that dating is back in.  If I'm honest, it was never truly out, I just stopped actively pursuing dates.  Any more on that, and we get a little more personal than I want to share at this time.  Just know that things are going well, and I hope they continue on his path.

Philosophy
I wanted to share what I felt to be very important things to remember and practice on a daily basis.  I might repeat things I have said in the past, but that just proves how important I feel they are.

1. Treat others how you want to be treated.
2. People aren't things, don't use them.
3. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Follow your moral compass (providing it's a positive one).
4. Some things are worth the risk, some things are not.  Be wise in deciding which it is.
5. Own up to your actions. No excuses.

That's about it for now.  Follow those and things will get better (eventually).

Merchandise?

A lot of people have been asking me if I am selling the #riggs shirts.  I wasn't, because it was essentially for me to document my body transformation, but it's been suggested that I sell them and donate the proceeds to a charity, or make a contest and put that towards the prize.  I can do both. I will start selling them soon, prices to come, and I am also going to start the #riggs transformation challenge.  I'm not going to do weight loss, that's not fair, because as you gain muscle, you gain weight, so it will be based on body fat percentage.  The charity is also something that will be announced later, more than likely I will let you guys vote.

Until next time dear readers...

New Look for 2018

Well, it's been a few years, but I've changed the layout of the blog a bit.  Won't take too long to get used to it.  I've simplified it.  I mean, who needs complication, am I right? Of course I am, as I pointed out in my previous blog post, I'm usually right.

Now, to expound upon that very topic.  Some people thought I was being a little arrogant by saying that.  I wasn't, as a matter of fact, I was saying it as a joke. Satire, if you will.  I'm not usually right.  My daughters and friends will tell you that I say I am a lot - usually after I'm right about something.  Law of averages puts me at being right more often than I am wrong, but truthfully, that doesn't require a large margin to make that claim.  Now, trivia questions, that's a different story.  I am usually right when it comes to trivia. And Batman.

Well, I'm doing another Q&A session on today's post, so here it goes:

Q:  Are you using a personal trainer?
A:  No. Unless you count me.  I dove in head first into the science of nutrition, the mechanics of exercise, and the physiology of muscle development.  A lot of time was spent online and at the library.  They won't let you check out some of the reference material I was utilizing, so the library it was for a while.

Q:  Do you ever miss a day of exercise?
A:  Sure.  Despite the rumors, I'm not perfect.  Life happens and things happen that just can't be avoided.  Honestly I even tried something I hadn't done this past week.  I took an entire week for rest.  It felt like I was doing something wrong, but surprisingly, my first session back at it - I was stronger.  I don't think I'll do this often, but it does support the "Rest is part of the routine" thing.

Whew, that's enough interrogation for today.

I think, to avoid some emails\messages, I'll address the comment I made just a second ago.  I do not think that anyone calls me perfect by any stretch.  It's called sarcasm, and it's an outlet for my emotions.  I use it a lot.  I am the first to admit my faults and flaws, although I might do it with, you guessed it, sarcasm.

Well, that's all I have for this week.  Next week I'm going to address a pretty serious topic, my divorce.

Until next time dear readers...

The Cliche You'll Hear the Most this Season and 90 Days Later...

Ready for it?

New Year, new you.  I'm not saying it's a bad sentiment, I'm saying it's entirely overused.  I'm starting month four of my body transformation, and I totally can relate to this saying.  I'm just not going to use it.  I'd rather say "New attitude, different me."  That sentence itself explains it pretty well.  My attitude towards diet, exercise and consistency has changed completely in the last three months.  This has caused some relationships I had to change.  This has caused my body to change.  This has caused my outlook on life to change.  I'm not new, I'm different - and to me, that's a lot better.

An update on my transformation - I'm at 184 lbs (my goal was 185) and I am at 17% body fat.  My goal is 13% or less.  I'm doing very well on my journey.  I've met new people, had some actually very meaningful conversations with individuals, and in the end I've came out better each time I left the gym than when I went in.

I think that the effort has been well worth it.  I've lost inches where I needed to and added inches where I wanted.  Hard work pays off, and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

There have been some questions sent in to me (It's been a month since I last updated, I know. I'm Sorry.), and I want to answer one of them, I'll answer more later.

I've had this question many times - More Weight, less reps or Less Weight More Reps?
My answer is yes.  As long as you're doing the reps, you're doing a lot better than doing nothing at all.  This harkens back to the thought that the best way to build muscle is to increase time under tension.  Well, I have news for you, you can do that no matter the weight or reps. Treat everything as a concentration exercise. Slow up, hold, slow down.  Sure it's harder, but that is the point.

So, there has been a lot going on lately in my life, other than the diet and exercise things.  I've met some new people and made some new friends.  I'm still holding to my philosophy of not dating.  When I meet someone that makes me seriously rethink that philosophy, and the relationship has the foundation for something truly special, then I will set aside that philosophy and test the water.  I'm cautious.  I've been hurt badly, a couple times actually.  I have everything I need in my life and most of the things I want, for which I am very lucky to have.

I have a rant.  If you know me, you know one of my pet peeves is fake people.  I've friends at this very moment I'm not too happy with.  If you tell me (or everyone) one thing, and then proceed to contradict yourself, don't be surprised if I refrain from speaking to you for a while.  I'm doing this to save the friendship because I have a tendency to be honest, even when people don't want to hear it.  I'm also doing this to see if the contradiction was an isolated incident or not.  Don't sacrifice your morals for a temporary (perceived) gain.  If you put anything before your morals and ideals, then you are saying that thing is more important, and your morals will crumble away.  Ok, I'm done.

I don't want to end this post on a rant, so I'll end on a different note.

January 9th.  It's a tough day.  My paternal grandparents both died on January 9th. Different years (He in 2006, and she in 2015) but always together. My grandfather and I were very close.  He could say just a few words and no matter my mood, I would always smile.  Whatever he was doing, as long as I could not get hurt, I could do it with him.  There were a couple of times he and I came up with some plans that didn't work out, but provided a good story to tell.  My grandmother was always very kind to me.  She would make the funniest (and yes, rude) remarks about people or things that were just so snarky and quick witted, that you almost were awestruck with admiration.  I miss them both a great deal.  That's why January 9th is a tough day.

I know, still not the greatest way to end a blog entry, but what can I say, thats life.

Until next time dear readers...

Like High School, Just Not As Awkward

I'm referring to my weight, actually.  I'm still as socially awkward as I was in high school.  I'm at 187 lbs. When I was 16, I weighed 185.  So, my drivers license is pretty accurate right now.  I've been going at this life change for a solid 2 months and my results have been phenomenal.

I had to join a gym.  As you know I didn't want to, and I have just about all the equipment I need in my back yard.  Weather happens.  It got too cold to exercise outside, so I didn't want to get pneumonia, so I joined Planet Fitness since it was the cheapest route. My first time there was the other night around 11 PM.  It seemed like I was a little intimidating for a couple of guys there, so I've got to try not to be, I don't want people to dislike seeing me.  I guess long sleeves may be in the future.

On to other talk.  I've had some interesting dates lately.  One of which, I don't think I said a word, she did all the talking.  I guess I was more of a sound board for her ideas, complaints and bragging.  There has not been a second date scheduled.  Don't get me wrong, she was a nice lady, but occasionally I like to say a word or two.  Occasionally.  Some of the others have been disappointing, for various reasons.  I believe I am giving up.  Not completely, I'm just not actively looking now.  I'm actually not as bummed about that as I thought I would be.  Between, work, my girls, and the gym, I really don't have a lot of free time, and I don't see that really changing much in the near future.

Not bad, huh?

Putting Myself Out There

I've made mistakes.  No one's perfect.  As a matter of fact for the longest time, I was thinking about writing a book called "How Not to Succeed." Probably wouldn't sell much.  My point is, that I had to hit a low period in my life before I figured out I hadn't liked the path I was on.  Blessing in disguise, deep disguise.

If you're reading this right now and you aren't completely happy with your life, change it.  Take care of yourself first, then everything else will fall into place.  Obviously I don't mean stop caring about anyone and everyone who isn't you, but focus on yourself maybe a little more than you're used to.  I do my best to take care of myself, my family, and my friends.  The only truly important things in life.

This is my second attempt at this week's blog entry.  The first one, as my friends on Facebook know, got a little too real.  I started talking about a few too many things incredibly close to my heart, and I didn't want to put myself out there like that.  Call it a self-preservation mechanism or what have you, but I stopped before I got too far in.

So, on a different note, you know when you're getting old when you think, "Sure, I could go on that date, or I could go to bed early."  Yep, I'm at that point, or I'm avoiding a date because I'm afraid I'll mess up my diet completely in one meal. I realize it's silly, but hey, I'm a silly guy.

Now an update on the diet\exercise.  I've lost weight.  A lot of weight.  I've gained muscle, a good amount of muscle.  Things are going well and people are starting to take notice.  I've been asked I don't know how many times now how I'm doing it.  To make things easier I've shortened my answer to "Diet, Exercise, and Self-Discipline."  You would be amazed at how many people stop listening after the word diet.  I've found that the majority of people do sincerely want to lose weight, but they also sincerely don't want to give up the foods they love.  I empathize completely, I was at that same point.  I'm not joking when I say that the diet\exercise thing is a life change, not a temporary thing.  Somewhere in time the word diet was redefined as a temporary change in eating habits to lose weight.  That's not the definition though. A diet is simply, what you eat.  You can change your diet, but you can't really go 'on' a diet.  I hope that makes sense.

Reader Question of the Week:  I've heard that the endorphins from working out make you better happier, is this true?

I love this question.  The short answer, yes.  The truth is that's only the beginning.  Let illustrate with a little story.  There was a guy who was severely depressed, overweight, had no self esteem (to speak of) and couldn't get to sleep a night without medication.  One day he decided he had enough.  Something had to change.  He changed his diet.  He felt better.  He studied the mechanics of exercises, emphasizing weight lifting.  He made a plan.  He started the plan.  It was rough at first, the exercise wasn't new to him, but not exactly familiar either.  After he had been doing it for some time, he started to feel more confident in himself as a whole.  That confidence went far beyond the gym.  He continued to work out, pushing himself harder and harder, and although there were times of pain or fatigue, he pushed through.  He felt better.  A lot better.  He found that his general sense of well-being was at an all-time high. He was able to sleep without medication,  he was able to start seeing the man who he wanted to be in the mirror.  So yes, it does do that - and so much more.


Until next time dear readers...

Oh, it's happening, sweetheart

Well, a lot of my goals are being met.  Not just with the diet\exercise lifestyle change, but with life in general.  Things are lining up quite nicely.  Finally, right?  It's taken me this long to get to a point in my life where I am happy.  Happy with myself.  There is a lot of growing to do, but I'm happy about where I am on my journey and who I'm on it with.  Having great support is key to anything, but especially when making major life changes.

I've been asked what motivates me to go on, even though I've encountered some extreme setbacks.  It's a good question.  Mainly it's my self-image.  What I picture myself being in a perfect world.  I'm getting closer.  I have a good saying I repeat to myself - "Kindness, compassion, and consistency." When I'm not feeling like doing something, I ask myself "Should I do this?" It's not a question of whether or not I can do it, but should I?  If I find myself torn, then it's a no.  Living by that mantra has changed my life significantly.  Everything isn't sunshine and rainbows, but it's getting there.  I was told recently that I'm too "happy" all the time.  I take that as a compliment, because that's something that hasn't always been true.

So, to keep with my word, I said I would answer a question from a reader, well here is this weeks: What is your body fat percentage now, and what is your goal?  I said before that I didn't really want to post numbers, but I will I guess.  I'm at 22.1%.  My goal is 10 now.  I had been thinking around 15, but If I'm going to go for it, I might as well go for the gold.  Body builders have like 5-6%, but that's not the look I'm going for.  I figure I can reach this in 6-8 months, but as long as I'm making progress (and I am), then I am happy (see - there's that word again).

This week's fitness tip:  Protein. Get ya some.  Seriously, to increase muscle mass, you need to eat a lot of protein.  I'm at like 200g or more a day (a lot of articles I've read say one gram per pound of body weight, but I go over that. 192.3 lbs by the way).  Cut down on carbs (I said cut down, not out), and eat healthy, unsaturated fats - your body does need fats.

That's it for this episode, tune in next week (more or less) for another adventure.

Until next time dear readers...

The Plan - Part 4

In this final part of the series, I'll try to explain a few things.  Welcome to the Results and Summary.

Results

It's hard to see changes to your body, I mean you see it everyday, and if you are like me, I had a hard time seeing myself getting out of shape.  In our culture, it's all about instant gratification.  The old adage "If it's worth it, it will take work" is never more true than with a body transformation. That being said, there are ways to measure your progress.  Don't be deterred though if you don't see progress quickly, every body is different.  How do you track results?

Weight
Weigh yourself.  Maybe not everyday, because body weight will fluctuate, so maybe one day each week. When you weigh, wear the same weight in clothes.  Best way is to just weigh in your underwear first thing in the morning.

BFP
Body Fat Percentage.  Exactly what it sounds like, the percent of your body that is fat.  The target number is your own choice, but keeping it in the teens is great.  There are several ways to measure this, but getting a scale that does weight and BFP is probably the best\most accurate way.

Measurements
When you read this, I bet your first thought was your waist. Yep, that's one, but don't forget the calves, biceps, thighs, chest, shoulders, forearms, and hips.  Track these.  Some should get bigger (more muscle mass), while others should drop (less body fat).  Use an app or a pen and paper, but do it, you'll thank me later.

Pictures
Take front and side pictures of yourself every week so you can see your body slowly taking the shape you want it to. These can be some of the best motivators.

Questions

"Do you adhere 100% to what you've described?"
No.  Close, but no.  Sometimes circumstances don't allow for you to eat when you need to.  They also can mess up what you eat, say if you're out of town and eat at a restaurant.  Be mindful of what you order.  Go for low-fat, no fried, protein rich foods.  Most restaurants have a "Fit" or "Healthy" section now.  While they aren't as good as what you could make yourself, it's better than just going completely off your diet.  This diet\exercise routine isn't a temporary thing, it's a lifestyle change, so staying completely on track may take a little time.

"In your diet, what have you had to cut out completely?"
Changing the way you eat does require some sacrifice.  I haven't gone into it a lot, but sodas need to be eliminated.  If they can't be eliminated (I realize it is a drug), then greatly reduced.  Alcohol needs to be eliminated as well, but I know that may be hard for some. (Again, another drug).  Alcohol is empty carbs.  Doesn't help, only hurts. Sugar is something else that you need to drop your intake on.  Sugar is ok in moderation, but don't make moderation routine.

"What about sugar substitutes?"
The only substitute I would recommend (and I use) is Stevia, the brand I use is Stevia in the Raw.  No calories and a very low sugar count.  I like it with coffee or green tea, works great.

"I read that grilling is bad for food because carcinogens get transferred over from the fire, but I see where you grill almost all of your protein, why?"
Good question.  There have been studies that show that cooking with charcoal or wood can cause some carcinogens to show up in the food.  I cook mine with propane, which eliminates that obstacle.

"How often do you change your workout routine?"
It's important to change things up, but it's also important to give your body enough time with each exercise.  I will change my weekly routine about every 3-4 weeks.

"So, is fast food out?"
Yes.  Most of it isn't even food, it's classification is "food-like product".  If you slip up, just remember, you are what you eat.

"How did you come up with your meal plan?"
A lot of research. Not just about what nutrients I needed (and when), but into food.  I read long studies about what is best for gaining lean muscle while losing fat.  So far I'm pleased, but I will have to mix it up soon so that I don't get sick of eating the same things.

Summary

I'll keep it brief.  Eat right.  If you can ask yourself "Should I be eating this?" and honestly say no, then put it down.  Exercise (strength and cardio) regularly.  Be consistent.  Often it helps if you have a gym buddy, or running partner, so consider asking friends if they'd like to help you transform your body.  That sounded weird, but you know what I mean.  No one's perfect, we all have weak moments, but the longer you stay on the plan, the fewer and farther between those moments are.

Until next time dear readers...

The Plan - Part 3

In this part, I'm going to talk about something most people don't do.  Supplementation. This is the process of providing your body with natural chemicals it just doesn't get or make enough of.  If you do or if you don't supplement you will see results, but if you do, you will see them much faster.

Supplementation

The studies behind supplementation vary from institute to institute but almost all show that there were noticeable benefits to supplementation, so I've worked out a formula for me that seems to work. Once again, this is for ME, so adjust accordingly.

Here's what I take and why:

• Multivitamin - To ensure I get my regular vitamin dosage in case my meals don't provide enough.
• Omega 3, 6 and 9 - A LOT of benefits in this combo. Fights depression, helps brain function and fights inflammation.
• CLA - Conjugated Linoleic Acid - An omega 6 that promotes metabolic rate, boost immune system and helps keep cholesterol down.
• L-Glutamine - Promotes muscle growth, brain health and has even been found to fight cancer.
• Green Tea Extract - Helps with weight loss, liver function, skin complexion, and again, can help fight\prevent forms of cancer.
• L-Arginine - Heart with Nitric oxide production and improves blood flow. In some studies it helped with clogged arteries.
• Creatine - Helps muscle cells produce more energy, improves overall high intensity performance, accelerates muscle growth, and helps to fight certain neurological diseases (which is important to me as Parkinson's Disease runs in my family).
• Beta-Alanine - Boosts muscle strength and endurance, helps increase muscle mass and boosts muscular anaerobic endurance. Good Stuff.
• Pre-Workout - This is actually kind of a prepackaged powder with several of the ingredients I mentioned.
• Post-Workout - Again, pre-packaged, but make sure it has what you need.
• BCAAs - Branched Chain Amino Acids - help with fatigue and recovery. Drink these all the time.
• Protein Powder - This is used to boost my protein (and carb if need be) intake.  It should be noted that it's important to get a lot of protein in your body within an hour of your workout, and this is the best way.

When I Take It:
Routinely
AM - Multivitamin, CLA (2000mg), Omega 3-6-9 (600mg), and L-Gutamine (2000mg)
PM - CLA (2000mg) and L-Gutamine (2000mg)

Workout Days
1 Hour Before Workout - L-Arginine (1000mg), Green Tea Extract (600 mg)
30 Min Before Workout - L-Glutamine (2000mg), Beta-Alanine (3.2g), Pre-Workout Mix
Post Workout - L-Glutamine (2000mg), Creatine (3.2g), Post Workout Mix, Protein Mix (Shoot for around 40-60g)

Off Days
At some point in the day you need to take your pre-workout supplements, but not your post ones. This keeps those supplements in your system and still working while you are on a recovery day.


That's the basics behind it.  It would help if you took a slow digesting protein (Casein) before bed so that you get a contents stream of protein entering the body.

Keep up the questions and comments, and get ready for the last part, Part 4 - Results and Summary, where I will answer a lot of the submitted questions as well.

Until Next Time Dear Readers...

The Plan - Part 2

Now for the next part of this series.  I would say it's the hardest, but honestly the diet can be a lot harder, so I'd say they are equally as difficult (or easy if you are an optimist) just for different reasons.

Exercise

Now exercise can be anything that basically causes your heart rate to increase and makes you sweat. My definition, not technical.  It's physical activity that burns calories.  That's not all it can do though, it can build muscle (technically speaking it breaks the muscles and they are rebuilt, bigger and more defined after the fact).  There are two main types of exercise, strength training and cardio training.  You need both.  I'm not saying you have to try to get all jacked up so you can complete for the title of Mr.\Mrs.\Miss Universe, I'm saying that you can only exercise so many muscles with cardio, and you can't (often) keep your heart rate high enough for long enough to burn fat while strength training.  Hand in hand.

As I stated in Part 1, this is what I'm doing, so your mileage may vary and you should tweak it accordingly.

Firstly, I believe in strength training days off. NOT THE DIET. NOT CARDIO. I believe that in order to make progress you have to allow muscle groups to repair themselves before exerting them again.  I've designed my routine around that.

Let's begin with the cardio. Every day. Every. Day.  First thing in the morning, before eating or anything, do cardio. Fasted cardio works. It's not fun, but it works.  For cardio to be effective, you need to keep your heart rate in the "fat burning zone," for which a formula exists to help with that.  Here is an easy way to calculate your maximum heart rate and what the zone is for you (65-70% of max).What I do is a ride on a recumbent bike.  When starting, ease into it, don't do so much that you get soured at the idea.  Start with like a 10 minute ride (or constant cardio exercise), or maybe 3 miles.  Keep doing that same distance\time until you are comfortable with increasing it, but once again, don't jump up to high that you get mad and quit altogether. Every. Day. Did I mention that?

Preface: Your body lets you know when you are doing too much or you are hurt.  A light pain is normal, but sharp and intense pains are not normal. Stop the exercise, wait (even days if need be) before working that muscle again, and when you do, use less weight to get back in the swing.

Mondays
Arm\Chest Day

Lying Tricep Press (Skullcrushers)
EZ-Bar Curl
Dumbbell Flyes
Bent Over Barbell Row

Tuesdays
Off

Wednesdays
Leg Day

Leg Extensions
Standing Calf Raises
Lying Leg Curls
Barbell Full Squat

Thursdays
Off

Friday
Whole Body Day (Intense)

Alternate Hammer Curl
Leg Extensions
Arnold Press
Barbell Rear Delt Row
Around the Worlds
Deadlift
Bent-Arm Dumbbell Pullover
Dumbbell Shrug
Decline EZ-Bar Tricep Extension
Seated Barbell Twist

Weekend
1 Day Off\1 Day Whole Body Day (Light)

EZ-Bar Curl
Incline Dumbbell Press
Lying Leg Curls
Lying Rear Delt Raise


I purposely didn't put sets\reps\weight because that is something you need to find out for yourself.  Traditionally it's 3 sets of 8 repetitions at 80% of you max weight.  Some people say less weight, more reps while others say less reps, more weight.  Honestly, I'm still figuring out what works best for me, but rest assured whatever you do, as long as you do it, it will work. This may sound silly, but get your phone\iPod or whatever, make a workout playlist with songs that pump up your adrenaline and play that while working out.  It can help you for several reasons, but a main one is it helps block out the sounds around you, letting you focus on what you're doing. Now for a thorn...

CARDIO AGAIN
After your strength training do cardio again.  I know that means some days you'll be doing cardio twice, but hey - gotta stick with what works.

Well, that's about all I do, part 3 will be on supplementation.

Until Next Time Dear Readers...

The Plan - Part 1

Ok, so basically this post is actually going to be me responding to some of the questions that have been sent in or posted.  The majority of this post will be in response to the most asked question, "What is your diet and exercise routine?" The Diet part will be today's subject, exercise will be next.

Before I dig in, I want to, again, thank everyone for their comments, questions, and concerns.  I am doing fine, the divorce doesn't bother me anymore (after all it's been two years since we separated), and no, I'm not in a relationship nor am I actively seeking one.  Alright, that should slow down a few emails, I hope.

The Diet

I've actually kept it pretty simple, but it works.  Let me begin with saying that carbs are not to be avoided like the plague.  You needs carbs, just the right type of carbs.  You need protein.  Muscles are protein, and when they need to rebuild after a workout (where fibers are broken), they need protein to do it.  Lastly, and this one some people will scream about is this: you need fats.  Not a lot, and not saturated - but you do need them.

My formula has been simple. With each meal (which I have about 4-5 a day because I'm wanting to gain a lot of lean muscle - i know it sounds like it doesn't make sense, but it does) I'll have a serving of meat (4-6oz, red meat is ok), a serving of carbs\starch (a medium potato, or a cup of brown rice are good examples), and finally a serving of a vegetable (Preferably green like broccoli or kale - the more green, the more chlorophyll, and the higher the benefits).  See? Not bad to follow, and with the right recipes and rotation you never feel full or get tired of the food.

Now to tell you what I've cut out (or I'm trying to) - excess sugar.  In dieting, sugar is the root of all evil.  in 1909 the average person consumed 15g of sugar per day.  Today, it's between 100-120g a day.  I mean a 20oz cola contains 20g of sugar.  Some sugar is ok, but look at the obesity rates from 1909 and from today, especially childhood obesity. A recent study shows that just in the last 50 years those rates have increased ten times their original number. 1000%.  Sugar hides in places you wouldn't expect. Well, we know carbs do get turned into sugar in our body. Some more so than others. Bread.  It tastes great, but it turns into a lot of sugar in our body, especially bread made from enriched\bleached flour (white bread).  That is a carb to use as little as possible, there is very little benefit from it.  Now something that may surprise you is this one - milk.  Milk has added sugar. Processed milk anyway.  It was introduced originally to make milk "taste better" but it also led to higher sales because of America's sugar addiction (and that is exactly what it is).  Also, be careful of sugar-free products that just replaced sugar with HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup).  It's just a different evil with similar effects.

Lastly, if you drink diet colas, stop. Right now.  They are so much worse than any other drink. The combination of phosphoric acid and aspartame should be considered lethal. Read this on what Diet Coke does within an hour of consuming.

Well, that's about it on the dieting side. It's working for me, but that doesn't mean it will work for you.  Like I've said, I've read a LOT of books and studies (formal and informal) and figured out pretty quickly that there isn't a "One Size Fits Most\All" diet, but the skeletal structure of this diet should, in my opinion be a good starting point for you to tweak however you need to.

Just remember: DO NOT SKIP MEALS & STAY CONSISTENT!!

Part 2 is going to be exercise, and 3 will be supplementation.  Been thinking about including a grocery planning\weekly meal prep guide too - let me know if you would be interested.

Until Next Time Dear Readers

Progress

For those of you following me, you know I've been hitting the gym really hard and planning my meals carefully (most of the time).  It has obviously paid off, I have lost about 40 pounds total, and that includes the gained muscle mass (which means I actually lost more, but got some weight back from muscle growth).

The secret? Sorry I can't tell you.  Oh, ok, here it is - determination and consistency.  I have read many books on diets and on exercise, and usually no two will agree on more than three things, but all agree on determination and consistency. I have been diligent on both fronts.  As I was planning out my meals for the week, I realized - that's it! The secret to everything really boils down to determination and consistency.

I've had a lot of people ask what my workout routine is, and it's simple really - I've been doing low reps with heavy weights.  Bigger, Leaner, Stronger by Mike Matthews has been my guideline, and I've read the book over and over. It's good stuff.  I will continue on to his next book after I've gotten myself in a little better shape.

I do want to clarify, I'm not sharing all my progress or activities to brag, I'm doing it to show people that it's possible.  I was very overweight and was unhappy, and with a lot of hard work, I'm fixing both of those issues.  It's not an easy process, but it is one that is worth it, and will be something you are glad you did for the rest of your life!