Meetings and Partings

In our life we will have many meetings and partings.  I have spoke about this before. Some partings are final, some are not. Meetings happen all the time. 

Something to think about is that you will have just as many partings as you do meetings, in one way or another. I know it’s morbid,  but eventually we will all have to say goodbye to everyone, so make the time you have with people count. 

Without going into detail out of respect for both parties, let just say I'm not in the same relationship I had been in. I'm not upset about my situation, in fact I have three wonderful ladies who keep me pretty busy as it is.   

I know people like a good story, but the long and the short of it is that sometimes people just are not compatible. It’s the lead a horse to water saying in practical application, going both ways, if that makes sense. I’ve learned a lot about myself, good and bad, but more than anything I discovered my self worth. 

Someone once told me to focus on myself and the right people will enter my life, well, that seems very true at this point. I do have a great support system and a back log of leather projects, so that helps a lot. I am at a point where the future is looking pretty good.  I do have some things to get past, and I do have to get back on my diet and exercise plan that I've neglected. And my writing! I now have so much to add, I might get it completed!

Sometimes things hurt.  Things hurt for a reason.  I have been told for some time from multiple sources, that people come into your life to be a lesson or a blessing, I believe this.  There isn't a positive or negative connotation added to this, it's just a fact. I have learned a lot and although there have been so many reasons for me never to try again, I am and I will, and I'm very happy with that part of my life right now.

Everyday is a struggle. Work (Leather business), depression, anxiety, children, people who want to butt into your business, the list goes on and on.  I'm dealing with it on a daily basis, and it wears me down, but when you have the right and true people in your life, it gets easier, and that's where I'm at, well, I'm at the beginning of that phase.

Thank you for a the birthday wishes yesterday, it made me feel incredibly loved!

There are more adventures ahead, we will just have to see what they are, but rest assured, things will not get dull.

Until next time dear readers...

Reflecting

I have spent a lot of time reflecting lately.  You’ve probably noticed I haven’t posted in a while.  I have my reasons, but I do apologize for the short break.  There is so very much going on in my life at the moment, and it’s actually been difficult for me to sit down and write out anything.  I did however start working on a specific chapter of my book, which deals with AD, after divorce.  During my brain storming and mind mapping of the chapter, I realized that although I thought I had forgiven my ex-wife for the things she did, both during and after our divorce, I really had not forgiven anything.  Let me give you an example.  During our separation, she did everything to block me from getting into our home to get my things.  Even after a judge ordered her to let me in, she still did not.  In this process I lost more than $15,000 of personal property that was legally and morally mine.  I came to terms that I wouldn’t get my things, and in a sense I guess I thought that was my way of forgiving, but it was a facade.

I am still angry with her for, in my opinion, not doing the right thing and letting me have my property, but I have to accept that that is the way she is, and always was.  I have forgiven her at this point.  I am still a bit bitter about a lot of things that happened, but dwelling on them, and the past is only making my present and future depressing.  That means that I no longer expect her to act any way other than she always has.  I forgive her for blaming everyone but herself for any problems.  I understand that she can’t mentally handle being the bad guy.

Now, I’m not saying any of this to put her name in the mud, no, this story isn’t about her, it’s about me and it’s about you.  I know my situation with my ex-wife isn’t the worst one that someone could be in, but for my it was bad, and for me to finally figure out after 4 years that it isn’t about her, it’s about me.  Putting the past in the past isn’t easy sometimes, but for you to have a healthy, bright future, it is necessary. If I can do it, trust me you can too.

When they say forgiving someone is a gift, not for them, but for you, they are absolutely correct.

Until next time, dear readers...

The Book and a Quick Note

So, I thought I would do just a post on my book since there have been a lot of inquiries.

The book is in progress, I do have a publisher lined up, and I will be giving out codes for free downloads (limited amount) when it does get published.

There, does that answer your questions? I’m kidding, I’ll keep going.

The most frequently asked question is what the book is about, and the short answer is me.  I’m not a narcissist, or anything like that.  At the core of the book, it is a self help book.  I spent a lot of time not only telling you about my life events, but also what I feel like I did wrong and how I could have avoided some things, so in turn, hopefully you will learn from my mistakes.  No, I don’t picture myself as this guru for motivational writing, I picture myself as a guy who is been through a lot and if I can help just one person, that would validate all the hours I spent on this book.

Next question.  How long have I been working on the book? Over a year.  I haven’t been able to just schedule a time each day\week to work on it, so it’s not coming exactly quickly, but trust me, it’s been quality of quantity.  There are long chapters.  There are short chapters.  There are powerful messages.  There are silly anecdotes.  From those I have let preview it, I have gotten many different responses.  There have been laughs, there have been tears and there have been proposals of marriage.  Ok, I made up that last one.

Back of the book description? I actually haven’t thought of that, but I’ll take a shot:

“From the author of myblogtypething.com comes an insightful outlook on life.  James Riggs has gathered together some of the best and worst times of his life and shared them with you, and he includes insights on said events.  He opens up his deepest emotional moments in his life and dissects them into moment by moment sections to explore what happened or what could have happened.”

When I do get closer to publishing, I will be sending out digital copies for quotes and reviews, so if you want in on that, please let me know.

All in all, the book is coming along well, just not quickly.

Thanks again for your continued interest!

Now, for the quick note.  I had an epiphany. Being happy is actually very simple. Well, the formula is, the practice might be a bit more difficult.  To be happy, you have to choose to be happy.  Sounds really simple, and it is, but choosing to be happy means more than just saying “Hey, I’m going to be happy today.”  Being happy means you might have to make a few small sacrifices.  Choose to be happy, not right.  A common argument is that I’m right, you’re wrong.  The subject matter is all over the place with arguments, but that is what it boils down to.  I’m right, you’re wrong and you can’t convince me otherwise.  Stop it.  If you are in a relationship with someone, and really love that person, you don’t have to be right, you have to be happy.  Let them win.  Don’t be rude about it or anything, just don’t argue, let them finish their monologue and them give them a hug.  Be happy.  You woke up, which is a blessing each day, you have a roof over your head, which a lot of people don’t, and you aren’t starving to death (literally, I mean near death from malnutrition).  Take a moment to reflect on all that you have, not what you don’t have.  We take for granted soooo many things in this life, but when we start living a life with gratitude and grace, a whole new outlook is available.  I’m not saying if you are in a bad relationship to just ignore it, if you are in a bad relationship, end it. Move on.  Be Happy. Don’t be ignorant of something that is harming you, cut out the unneeded negative.  Happiness and contentment are gifts, and they are gifts we give ourselves.  It’s not a selfish thing to give yourself credit for something you have accomplished and are proud of.  Today, as of this moment, I am happy.  There are so many things going right in my life that I am focusing on, that being happy is easy when I think about them.  I have bad things going on too, but when you focus on the negative, you become negative and the good things in your life may just disappear and never be available to you again. Be grateful.  Gratitude and Grace.  

Until next time dear readers...

A Short Break

I know it's been a bit since my last entry, I apologize.  I have been working on my book, and it's been taking most of my writing time.  I do appreciate the letters you have sent asking how I'm doing, I'm actually doing quite well, and I've did my best to respond to each one of you personally.

Some of you might be wondering what book I'm talking about, so I'll tell you.  I've been working on for some time my autobiography.  It's about 30% done at the moment and I'm already doing rewrites on some chapters.  I've got two interested publishers, so this time I won't be self publishing.  I will be sending out free ebook versions to some of my readers, but I'll announce more about that in the future.  Again, thanks for your patience right now, I will be back soon!

Until next time, dear readers...