Addressing the Questions

After posting my last entry about taking a break I got a lot of questions via email.  Instead of waiting for me to fully return to my blog to answer them, I thought I should go ahead and do it.

1. I am taking a break, not quitting.
2. I will still respond to emails, as time allows. 
3. Yes, there is more currently going on than me writing my book, but lately I’ve been juggling more than usual, but really, who honestly isn’t dealing with 101 problems everyday? Just me? No?
4. Are you working on that science fiction romance novel about the two cyborgs who fall in love? No. Saving that one for later. 
5. Can I be in your book? Probably not. If you are it’s either a really good thing or a really bad thing. Law of extremes.
6. Finally, yes, I was serious about the book, and I address super serious topics. 

Once again, I will be back, just a brief break. 

Until next time, dear readers...

A Short Break

I know it's been a bit since my last entry, I apologize.  I have been working on my book, and it's been taking most of my writing time.  I do appreciate the letters you have sent asking how I'm doing, I'm actually doing quite well, and I've did my best to respond to each one of you personally.

Some of you might be wondering what book I'm talking about, so I'll tell you.  I've been working on for some time my autobiography.  It's about 30% done at the moment and I'm already doing rewrites on some chapters.  I've got two interested publishers, so this time I won't be self publishing.  I will be sending out free ebook versions to some of my readers, but I'll announce more about that in the future.  Again, thanks for your patience right now, I will be back soon!

Until next time, dear readers...

New Beginnings

There is a lot going on in my life right now. A lot.  There is a lot of stress, anxiety and excitement.  I’m not complaining, the changes in my life have been 100% for the better.  I am happy.  I mean I am really happy.  Sure I don’t drive a Ferrari, or live in a castle (yet), but I am happy. Isn’t that all that matters?

There is a sad side to this story though.  Although I am happy, and others can obviously tell that, there are those neigh sayers. They will ignore anything positive and attach to the negative.  It gets tiring, especially if it’s someone you love.  Expect the best but plan for the worst.  I have been living by that motto for a while now, and so far lately, I’ve mostly gotten the best.  It’s a nice change.

I haven’t talked about exercise in a while, so I’ll update you.  I am still helping people with meal and exercise plans, and results have been great.  I myself am steadily continuing on my body change journey.  My weight is fluctuating. That’s ok.  I have been having more cheat days lately, and I’m working on stopping that.  Meal planning is not easy, but meal prepping is much harder.  Honestly a good meal prep day takes up a really good chunk of the day.  I am working on a meal prep video for my Riggs Fitness site\brand.

Remember, anywhere you go, there you are.

Until next time, dear readers...

If You’re Happy and you Know It

They say being happy is a state of mind.  I agree.  I am right, now, probably happier than I have ever been.  That’s not to say everything is going the way I want it to, or that everything is sunshine and roses.  Everything isn’t. There are still things I’m working on, still projects to complete, still stuff to be done.  With all that is pending, I’m still happy.  I’m happy with the progress in my life at this point.  Everything is looking up.

I’ve read that everyone needs to take responsibility for everything in their life.  That doesn’t mean you have to accept blame for everything because that isn’t healthy.  What that means is that you need to accept the responsibility for how you react to everything in your life.  It falls in line with that taking lemons and making lemonade bit.

Bobby McFerrin was an genius.  His song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" is a philosophical high point in our existence.  Seriously.  Things aren't always going to be great, but that doesn't mean you have to just sit down and wallow in your sorrow.  That was an unintentional rhyme, so I hope that made you smile a little bit.

About smiling.  Do it.  Fake it till you make it works in some cases.  Your smile is infectious.  There is a certain lady in my life, that whenever she smiles, I can't help but feel really, really good.  Every. Single. Time.  Smiling leads to laughing, laughing leads to forgetting about the problems currently surrounding you, and ultimately leads to you being happy.  Be the one that makes everyone happy, no one likes Debbie Downer.

I'm making this entry fairly short because I am about to start filming for a new web series that I'm working on, more on that later, but please guys, be the light that others like to turn to.  Simple.

Until next time, dear readers...

Life is a Puzzle

At least I didn’t say it was like a box of chocolates.  Seriously though, life is exactly like a puzzle.  Sometimes we think we see the image and we try to make the pieces fit that we think should complete the image, but they just will not fit.  Now, on the reverse side of that, sometimes you find, just by trying, by accident, that a piece fits.  Then the next piece then also, just fits. After a while, you stop trying to make the image what you think it should be, and allow it to become what it is supposed to be.

Too deep? Ok, well, to sum all that up is easy.  When you stop trying to make things happen, things fall into place.  To use another cliche, sometimes things have to fall apart to come together.  I have given a lot of thought into my life lessons, and really, every post on this blog.  I have a lot of readers, who have amazing hearts.  I haven’t updated in a while, because, well, it’s been a combination of things.

I’ve been busy.  Now, this doesn’t mean that I have been avoiding updating and that’s my excuse, it means I’ve genuinely been busy.  I’ve been spending my visitation time with my girls on a series of adventures.  I usually update you while we are staying at Beaver’s Bend, but this year, I forgot my laptop.  There will be pictures soon, some are already on my Facebook page, some soon to be on my Instagram. There, as always, are those who ask me how my personal life is doing, and I generally like to avoid that topic.  Something has changed that though...

Through a combination of luck and timing, I did meet someone.  When I say that, the statement carries a certain gravitas, I suppose.  I’m not the type to just put out information at random, well, not personal information, well, not this personal.  I was looking for someone, that much you know.

We started by just simply talking, or texting mostly.  In the process of getting to know each other, we discovered we had both had similar life experiences. Further on, we discovered that we had a very similar sense of humor, which is saying something, but honestly, that’s been difficult.  She is extremely intelligent, and gets my weird pop culture references.  Well, she might not get all of them, but I’m pretty sure that no one gets some of them.  Not even me.  Moving on.  We slowly (or not so slowly depending on who you talk to) realized that we really enjoyed each other’s company and conversation. We are both very happy, and I don’t see that changing anytime.

I figured I wouldn’t make this entry just a big love letter to Cassie.  I'm a happy man now, beyond what I ever expected, and all of a sudden all of those dopey love songs make sense.  I's a very, very good feeling.

Until next time, dear readers...

Still Learning

A few months ago I posted an entry called "I'm Still Learning," and I wanted to say that, that is still the case.  I find out bad things about myself, and I correct them as best as I can.  I find flaws in others and forgive them, as best as I can.  Actually to that point, I may have perfected that a little too well, and I may need to change that to "forgive and distance."  Anyhow, to the main point of this post, I wanted to give some more life lessons.  Keep in mind, some of these may be repeats, but there is obviously a reason they are being repeated, so pay attention.

Life Lessons (Again, without explanations):

• No one is perfect, if you think they are, they can only let you down.
• People will believe what they want to, often without hearing all sides.
• If your best isn't good enough for a person, then that person isn't good enough for you.
• Maintain your self-respect, walk away before you can't.
• A relationship should never be adversarial.  Your teammates, not opponents.
• Trust is built slowly, but broken quickly,
• Always pause to think before you do or say anything, consider all viewpoints.
• If someone doesn't show interest, then they are, well uninterested.
• Sometimes it is essential to tell people how you feel, so long as doing so doesn't hurt them unnecessarily.
• Sometimes if you know something about someone that they don't know you know, it's best to let them tell you in their own time, as long as it doesn't to do harm to either of you.
• You might need to hold your tongue from saying some things, and I mean literally.
• We as humans are inclined to form an opinion about someone before getting to know them, so we could end up loving or hating the idea of a person, rather than the person.  Either way, this way of thinking will affect our actual impression of the person.
• I joke around and always bring up Rule 13, that I am always right.  I'm not, in fact, I've been made shockingly aware that I am not right nearly as often as I thought.  I am imperfect, and I always will be, so using an absolute like "always" is meant as a joke.  Trust me, I'm right.
• Friends are a valuable commodity, one that over the years increases in value, invest in them.  Support them, believe in them, and encourage them.  In turn, they will do the same for you when you need it most.
• Sometimes juice companies use sweetened, colored, apple juice and market it as grape juice. Lies.
• If it's not pushing you forward, towards something better, then it's pulling you back, to where you don't want to be.  Change it.
• Don't live passively, be the most active part of your life.
• Don't let others make decisions for you, they don't have to live with the consequences.

I know, there's a lot, but there could have been a lot more.  I'll save those for another post another day.

Until next time, dear readers...

Real Talk

Some recent events in my life have made me wish I had a time machine. I just want to go back to past James, slap him in the face and tell him he needs to stop being stupid.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I always keep my word, I never lose my cool, I would do anything to help a friend, I’m incredibly loyal, and I care too much. Just so you know, I did not write this list, so please don’t think I’m that shallow. In the past few months (and maybe longer) I have acted out of character several times. This has hurt others, and myself. I can’t change what I’ve done, or it's impact, all I can do is keep reminding myself of the consequences of acting like an idiot.

During this time, I also came to the startling conclusion that if one person tells you something, it's possibly true, possibly not.  When two people tell you the same thing, it's more than likely true than not.  When you have three or more people telling you the same thing, you should probably listen.  The truth of the matter is that sometimes you see what you want to see, not what is actually there.  In my last post, I talked about inventories.  Well, I've did a huge inventory of myself recently, and I've discovered more about myself than I ever have.  I've found a lot of good things about myself, and I've found bad things about myself.  I'm working on those, and I'll be perfectly honest, it's going to be a struggle and take time on some of them.

Setting boundaries is key.  I have found that I have trouble setting boundaries with people.  You need to be honest with yourself and with them, let them know that you just won't do some things, not because you don't want to, but because once a boundary is crossed, it is much easier to cross it again. It's not a bad thing to help someone out, but don't change your boundaries in order to do so.

As I have been updating you on everything (which I've been told is too much, but, oh well), I'll go ahead and address the dating question.  I am not closed off to dating, but, as I'm sure you concluded, I didn't do so well with my recent try.  I am human, and I do make mistakes, and sometimes more than once.  I am (and always will be) in a constant state of personal growth, physically and mentally, and there have been people there at my worst, and stuck by me to hep me be my best.  I don't know where I'd be without them, and that's the type of person I'm looking for.  They are hard to find, but once I find that person, well, I'll be happy I guess is the easiest way to say it.  It's been said that when you find the once, "you'll just know."  That's wrong probably eight times out of ten.  Sure, I believe that some people just know, but they have to both "just know" before I'll believe it.  One sided relationships are far too common.  I think that I will only know if the person is right if she is by me through my struggles as well as my successes, and I'll have the same opportunity to do so for her.  Long story short, I guess I'm still looking.

I'll leave you with this, if you don't like what you see, don't blame the mirror.

Until next time dear readers...