Life Lessons

I was thinking today, man I've made a lot of mistakes and I've learned a lot from those mistakes in my life.  Here are some things I've learned thus far, with no explanations.

1. Chivalry will be confused for sexism more often than not.
2. Everyone in your life will, at some point, let you down.
3. Only you, in the end, are responsible for attaining (or not) a goal.
4. It's OK to cry.
5. Those whom you care for the most, hurt you with the least effort.
6. Sometimes it's not about falling or getting back up, it's about standing.
7. If it's not pushing you forward, it's holding you back.
8. When it rains, it doesn’t always pour, but you will get wet.
9. You can overthink something. 
10. Between 21 and 65, age doesn’t mean a lot. 
11. Sometimes, it is ok to laugh at someone. 
12. People you know will surprise you, this could be good or bad. 
13. I am usually right. 

Short one guys, I apologize.  There is actually a lot knowledge in those right there.

Until next time, dear readers...

I Must Have Been Raised Different

I mean that in a good way.  I mean, my parents and grandparents set excellent examples and taught me ideals and beliefs that are, to this day, still amazing.  I watch and observe people all the time (not in a creepy way) and behavior today is shocking.  I mean look at the way people were in say, the 50s. Not ALL beliefs during that time were correct.  I refer to the interactions between people.  Between couples.  Between family members.  People were more respectful.  Again, there were things happening in that era that were without a doubt wrong, and I am NOT including those in this example.

Let me be more specific.  Today people don't open doors for their partner as much as they should, much less for total strangers.  I do.  Given the lady part is absent, but I will actively look for an opportunity to open a door for someone. It's second nature.  I don't just mean doors to a home or business, but also car doors.  It doesn't matter who was driving, get out, open a door and be polite.

People don't show respect.  There are many ways to show respect, and just as many ways to disrespect something.  Examples? Hats.  Generally speaking, hats are for outside only.  Definitely wearing a hat inside someones home is disrespectful.  Many people will say that there is no reason to take off any hat, it's just an old tradition.  It is.  This dates back to the medieval era. Knights would take off their helmet indoors, whether at their home or away as a sign of good faith.  It showed they were not there to do battle, but as a friend.  To me, when I enter someones home, I take off my hat as a sign of thanks for providing me with a roof to be under and protected from the elements, no matter how short the stay may be.  I said before that hats were generally for use outdoors only, but there are exceptions.  When you are actively (or passively in some cases) listening to someone pray, take off your hat.  You don't have to believe in their religion, or take part in any of the related practices (if you feel that doing so would compromise your religious beliefs, whether you have any or not), but show respect for the person or persons that are involved.  Same goes for the national anthem.  I know there is a lot of controversy regarding that, but I'm not just referring to ours.  If you are visiting another country, or are at an event where a different anthem is played, take it off. You are showing a sign of thanks for what has been done to provide you with the life you had, or the life of a friend or even a perfect stranger from another country.  The obvious exception is to those countries that are actively militant towards other countries.  I know, that last comment could be skewed to say it is for the United States, but honestly, we are mostly reactive, not proactive.

Say Thank You.  This one is so super easy, yet most people don't do it.  It could be how they were taught (or not taught in this case), or it could be unintentional forgetfulness.  When someone does something for you that is any remote sort of kindness, say thank you.  If you are unsure if you should say it, say it anyway.  Easy.

Excuse me?  Are you interrupting someone?  Are you passing in between someone and something they are focusing on?  Do something socially unacceptable or awkward? SAY EXCUSE ME!  Again, easy.

I'm sorry.  This one isn't really a "manners" thing.  It's more of a human being thing.  Most people avoid saying this at all costs.  It can be an admission of guilt.  It can show you have feelings.  They just won't do it.  Life is hard, don't make it harder by not admitting your faults and correcting them.  Do something wrong? Eat the last donut as someone else comes up and reaches for one? Say it. Not rocket science.

I was also taught to treat people with a certain dignity, maybe even a certain degree elegance.  Different situations call for different measures.  At worst, treat people with civility.  I know this is hard in some circumstances, but trust me - it's worth it.

Sorry this one has been one continuous rant.  It's been pointed out to me that I have a tendency to rant, so I'll try to resolve that myself.

Until Next Time Dear Readers...

The Cliche You'll Hear the Most this Season and 90 Days Later...

Ready for it?

New Year, new you.  I'm not saying it's a bad sentiment, I'm saying it's entirely overused.  I'm starting month four of my body transformation, and I totally can relate to this saying.  I'm just not going to use it.  I'd rather say "New attitude, different me."  That sentence itself explains it pretty well.  My attitude towards diet, exercise and consistency has changed completely in the last three months.  This has caused some relationships I had to change.  This has caused my body to change.  This has caused my outlook on life to change.  I'm not new, I'm different - and to me, that's a lot better.

An update on my transformation - I'm at 184 lbs (my goal was 185) and I am at 17% body fat.  My goal is 13% or less.  I'm doing very well on my journey.  I've met new people, had some actually very meaningful conversations with individuals, and in the end I've came out better each time I left the gym than when I went in.

I think that the effort has been well worth it.  I've lost inches where I needed to and added inches where I wanted.  Hard work pays off, and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

There have been some questions sent in to me (It's been a month since I last updated, I know. I'm Sorry.), and I want to answer one of them, I'll answer more later.

I've had this question many times - More Weight, less reps or Less Weight More Reps?
My answer is yes.  As long as you're doing the reps, you're doing a lot better than doing nothing at all.  This harkens back to the thought that the best way to build muscle is to increase time under tension.  Well, I have news for you, you can do that no matter the weight or reps. Treat everything as a concentration exercise. Slow up, hold, slow down.  Sure it's harder, but that is the point.

So, there has been a lot going on lately in my life, other than the diet and exercise things.  I've met some new people and made some new friends.  I'm still holding to my philosophy of not dating.  When I meet someone that makes me seriously rethink that philosophy, and the relationship has the foundation for something truly special, then I will set aside that philosophy and test the water.  I'm cautious.  I've been hurt badly, a couple times actually.  I have everything I need in my life and most of the things I want, for which I am very lucky to have.

I have a rant.  If you know me, you know one of my pet peeves is fake people.  I've friends at this very moment I'm not too happy with.  If you tell me (or everyone) one thing, and then proceed to contradict yourself, don't be surprised if I refrain from speaking to you for a while.  I'm doing this to save the friendship because I have a tendency to be honest, even when people don't want to hear it.  I'm also doing this to see if the contradiction was an isolated incident or not.  Don't sacrifice your morals for a temporary (perceived) gain.  If you put anything before your morals and ideals, then you are saying that thing is more important, and your morals will crumble away.  Ok, I'm done.

I don't want to end this post on a rant, so I'll end on a different note.

January 9th.  It's a tough day.  My paternal grandparents both died on January 9th. Different years (He in 2006, and she in 2015) but always together. My grandfather and I were very close.  He could say just a few words and no matter my mood, I would always smile.  Whatever he was doing, as long as I could not get hurt, I could do it with him.  There were a couple of times he and I came up with some plans that didn't work out, but provided a good story to tell.  My grandmother was always very kind to me.  She would make the funniest (and yes, rude) remarks about people or things that were just so snarky and quick witted, that you almost were awestruck with admiration.  I miss them both a great deal.  That's why January 9th is a tough day.

I know, still not the greatest way to end a blog entry, but what can I say, thats life.

Until next time dear readers...

Like High School, Just Not As Awkward

I'm referring to my weight, actually.  I'm still as socially awkward as I was in high school.  I'm at 187 lbs. When I was 16, I weighed 185.  So, my drivers license is pretty accurate right now.  I've been going at this life change for a solid 2 months and my results have been phenomenal.

I had to join a gym.  As you know I didn't want to, and I have just about all the equipment I need in my back yard.  Weather happens.  It got too cold to exercise outside, so I didn't want to get pneumonia, so I joined Planet Fitness since it was the cheapest route. My first time there was the other night around 11 PM.  It seemed like I was a little intimidating for a couple of guys there, so I've got to try not to be, I don't want people to dislike seeing me.  I guess long sleeves may be in the future.

On to other talk.  I've had some interesting dates lately.  One of which, I don't think I said a word, she did all the talking.  I guess I was more of a sound board for her ideas, complaints and bragging.  There has not been a second date scheduled.  Don't get me wrong, she was a nice lady, but occasionally I like to say a word or two.  Occasionally.  Some of the others have been disappointing, for various reasons.  I believe I am giving up.  Not completely, I'm just not actively looking now.  I'm actually not as bummed about that as I thought I would be.  Between, work, my girls, and the gym, I really don't have a lot of free time, and I don't see that really changing much in the near future.

Not bad, huh?

Putting Myself Out There

I've made mistakes.  No one's perfect.  As a matter of fact for the longest time, I was thinking about writing a book called "How Not to Succeed." Probably wouldn't sell much.  My point is, that I had to hit a low period in my life before I figured out I hadn't liked the path I was on.  Blessing in disguise, deep disguise.

If you're reading this right now and you aren't completely happy with your life, change it.  Take care of yourself first, then everything else will fall into place.  Obviously I don't mean stop caring about anyone and everyone who isn't you, but focus on yourself maybe a little more than you're used to.  I do my best to take care of myself, my family, and my friends.  The only truly important things in life.

This is my second attempt at this week's blog entry.  The first one, as my friends on Facebook know, got a little too real.  I started talking about a few too many things incredibly close to my heart, and I didn't want to put myself out there like that.  Call it a self-preservation mechanism or what have you, but I stopped before I got too far in.

So, on a different note, you know when you're getting old when you think, "Sure, I could go on that date, or I could go to bed early."  Yep, I'm at that point, or I'm avoiding a date because I'm afraid I'll mess up my diet completely in one meal. I realize it's silly, but hey, I'm a silly guy.

Now an update on the diet\exercise.  I've lost weight.  A lot of weight.  I've gained muscle, a good amount of muscle.  Things are going well and people are starting to take notice.  I've been asked I don't know how many times now how I'm doing it.  To make things easier I've shortened my answer to "Diet, Exercise, and Self-Discipline."  You would be amazed at how many people stop listening after the word diet.  I've found that the majority of people do sincerely want to lose weight, but they also sincerely don't want to give up the foods they love.  I empathize completely, I was at that same point.  I'm not joking when I say that the diet\exercise thing is a life change, not a temporary thing.  Somewhere in time the word diet was redefined as a temporary change in eating habits to lose weight.  That's not the definition though. A diet is simply, what you eat.  You can change your diet, but you can't really go 'on' a diet.  I hope that makes sense.

Reader Question of the Week:  I've heard that the endorphins from working out make you better happier, is this true?

I love this question.  The short answer, yes.  The truth is that's only the beginning.  Let illustrate with a little story.  There was a guy who was severely depressed, overweight, had no self esteem (to speak of) and couldn't get to sleep a night without medication.  One day he decided he had enough.  Something had to change.  He changed his diet.  He felt better.  He studied the mechanics of exercises, emphasizing weight lifting.  He made a plan.  He started the plan.  It was rough at first, the exercise wasn't new to him, but not exactly familiar either.  After he had been doing it for some time, he started to feel more confident in himself as a whole.  That confidence went far beyond the gym.  He continued to work out, pushing himself harder and harder, and although there were times of pain or fatigue, he pushed through.  He felt better.  A lot better.  He found that his general sense of well-being was at an all-time high. He was able to sleep without medication,  he was able to start seeing the man who he wanted to be in the mirror.  So yes, it does do that - and so much more.


Until next time dear readers...

Oh, it's happening, sweetheart

Well, a lot of my goals are being met.  Not just with the diet\exercise lifestyle change, but with life in general.  Things are lining up quite nicely.  Finally, right?  It's taken me this long to get to a point in my life where I am happy.  Happy with myself.  There is a lot of growing to do, but I'm happy about where I am on my journey and who I'm on it with.  Having great support is key to anything, but especially when making major life changes.

I've been asked what motivates me to go on, even though I've encountered some extreme setbacks.  It's a good question.  Mainly it's my self-image.  What I picture myself being in a perfect world.  I'm getting closer.  I have a good saying I repeat to myself - "Kindness, compassion, and consistency." When I'm not feeling like doing something, I ask myself "Should I do this?" It's not a question of whether or not I can do it, but should I?  If I find myself torn, then it's a no.  Living by that mantra has changed my life significantly.  Everything isn't sunshine and rainbows, but it's getting there.  I was told recently that I'm too "happy" all the time.  I take that as a compliment, because that's something that hasn't always been true.

So, to keep with my word, I said I would answer a question from a reader, well here is this weeks: What is your body fat percentage now, and what is your goal?  I said before that I didn't really want to post numbers, but I will I guess.  I'm at 22.1%.  My goal is 10 now.  I had been thinking around 15, but If I'm going to go for it, I might as well go for the gold.  Body builders have like 5-6%, but that's not the look I'm going for.  I figure I can reach this in 6-8 months, but as long as I'm making progress (and I am), then I am happy (see - there's that word again).

This week's fitness tip:  Protein. Get ya some.  Seriously, to increase muscle mass, you need to eat a lot of protein.  I'm at like 200g or more a day (a lot of articles I've read say one gram per pound of body weight, but I go over that. 192.3 lbs by the way).  Cut down on carbs (I said cut down, not out), and eat healthy, unsaturated fats - your body does need fats.

That's it for this episode, tune in next week (more or less) for another adventure.

Until next time dear readers...

New Things

Well, I've made several huge changes in my life.  The diet, the exercise, the divorce, and changing jobs.  It's really life.  I've started a brand new life.  It's scary.  I mean it's frighteningly scary at times.  On the plus side, it's all positive.  I have some negative things going on in my life too right now, but I try not to focus on those things.  They are temporary, and all my positive things I'm striving to make permanent.  It's not an easy task, but seeings the results of my efforts is making it all very worthwhile.  It's a learning adventure as well, by that I mean I'm learning a lot about myself along the way.

Normally I'm the last person to compliment myself, and I don't know if that was a self esteem issue or what, but now I can see the positives in myself and I am proud.  I mean I don't go around professing how great I think I am, but I'm not afraid to brag a little if the occasion arises.  I'm also more receptive of compliments, where as in the past I just assumed people were trying to be nice instead of honest.  I've had several people over just the last few weeks tell me how nice I am.  I finally asked one why they think I'm nice.  The response took me a little off guard.  They said that I did favors, tasks or was just generally there for them and I didn't expect anything in return.  I don't ever do something with the intention of having something done for me in return.  It's sad that some people treat kindness with the expectation of a return on investment.  Be nice, people.  You'll be better for it, and so will the world.  I guess that's today's public service announcement.  Do with it what you will.

Since there has been so much interest in the health and fitness series I wrote, I'm going to try to include a little tip in each blog entry.  I won't today, because honestly, I just got through working out (it's 11:00p) and I've got yo be at work at 7a, so I'm cutting this one a bit short. More to come soon.

Until next time dear readers...