A Funny Thing Happened on the way to ... where was I going?

Did you ever read someone's Facebook or Twitter status\update and it was so hypocritical or just wrong that you wanted to call them out on it? There's been that emotion a lot inside of my brain.  My heart stops my brain signals from lashing out and being rude, yet correct.  I mean, we know I'm right.

People do hypocritical things all the time, and if we tell them that they did - boom, angry town.  Even if you have their best interest at heart, they don't like to hear how to live their lives or spend their money, etc, etc.

Now that I got that out of the way, I want all of you who pointed out that I weighed more at the end of my DietBet than I did when I started that I'm not talking to you. Poopyheads.

Seriously though, I really failed at this one, but I can always try for the next one.  I'm getting a good start by going on a Natural Nutrition 28 Day Program. (Thanks Maranda!) I'm human, and I'm sure I'll make a mistake, you know - just one, but it looks like an excellent start.  I'm getting back to the home gym too, I've got enough there to get me toned (I feel awkward using the word 'toned' - pretend I said 'overwhelming ripped').

For those of you asking about my book (or short story to be exact) - I'm nearing the end of the third in the series and will release both the second and third at the same time.

On February 4th, 1999, I met Lyndsay Armstrong on a blind date.  She must really have been blind because we have been together ever since. We've been together for 15 years! Our togetherness can almost get a drivers license!  Our 10th anniversary is this May 29th.  Get your credit cards ready because I'm going to be making an Amazon wish list and I expect everyone to buy the crap she wants, or else I have to - and I really, really don't want to.

Hm... I think that's it for now... Oh yeah, I beat my sister at jump rope, she said she wasn't trying to compete, but whatever - she tried, and failed. Boom.

Possible Mariticide in Progress...

For starters, mariticide is the murder of one's husband.  I'm the husband.  Lyndsay, well, she's trying to slowly kill me.  I can't even get through with one project (of which requires bladed chains, saw blades or nails and staples going faster that the speed of light involved) before she gets that look.  I've come to know this as the "run away from her now and pretend you have diarrhea and can't be stopped" sign.  Yep, head for the nearest bathroom and hope she doesn't run after you. Lock the door behind you, if you can, and then turn on the water faucet in your bath\shower on full blast and hide in the corner. Unfortunately, this doesn't last forever, but at least you can get a break. If you don't follow those directions, you will be told of another "little thing" that she wants you to do.  She is waiting for me to have a mishap so she can claim it was an accident. I am smarter than that. I'm going to have diarrhea for the next two weeks.

We have gotten a lot accomplished around our house, truth be told. This weekend we cut down an old tree that I had cut down a while back but never was about to cut it up and move it. We did that.  I was also able to start cutting down a tree that I swore Lyndsay told me she wanted cut down.  I must not have heard her well, I was probably yelling I had to go to the bathroom and running away.  Luckily I only got a few limbs down before I was corrected.  Last time I try to cut down anything when I'm home alone.

Enough about my pretend bowel issues.

As you all know, because you have been reading my blog and are friends with me on Facebook, which you do and are, right? Of course you do and are, I'm just being insecure. Back to the topic, I am in a DietBet right now. I'm not doing well in it, but I think I might be able to shave my body hair to lose the 6 pounds I need right now, so I have that as an option.  Exercise is going well, even on the weekends when I'm too busy being whipped by Lyndsay (not in the fun way) to do my formal exercises. I do get cardio in as well with the running away that I do, and I guess I get some squats in too, when I'm pretending to sit on the toilet. Wow, did we get back to toilet talk again? Geez.

I'll update you more later, my fingers hurt and I think I hear her calling my name, so I'm going to run to the bathroom and turn the faucets on.

Wish me luck.

Hard Work and Determination

You probably clicked on the linked thinking I messed up on the title. Nope, this post is about that junk.  If you follow me on Facebook, which I'm sure you do. You do, right? Well, if you don't, just say you do so I don't begin to cry, I have sensitive feelings and overactive tear ducts. Anyway, if you'll let me get back to the subject and if you'll stop changing it (geez), I have been working on my garage. It was a mess, I admit it (I blame my wife and kids).  I originally got a cabinet for my wife to put kitchen appliances in, since they were multiplying and overrunning the kitchen.  It grew from there.

I'm going to keep this short, since it took my over 20 hours of man power (at at least whatever power I can produce). I finished. There ya go.

On the subject of my DietBet, thank you for asking, I think I have a fair chance of making possibly a fool of myself.  I started my routines too late I think, but maybe the weight will shed off. Also, I've gained some upper body muscle weight, so that I got that going for me.  Calendar will be out, just a little late.

2014, Bring it On (and other cliches)

My first post in 2014. This is actually my first post in a while actually. I hope you like it. If you don't, please lie and tell me that you like it.

It's been a busy time. Christmas, New Years, and two birthdays later, I think I'm caught up, at least a little.  If you follow my posts on Facebook you know that I'm in enough DietBet (www.dietbetter.com) and I'm fully committed. I think. I've been very diligent about drinking more water (which FYI make sure you can easily make it to the bathroom in a pinch) and exercising everyday, each day getting more intense. Runtastic makes some great apps that work well for that. Right now (not yet half way through the bet) I have went down three pounds, and up two. So I'm down one pound at the moment. That's cool, as long as I don't go up.

I've been building a home gym, and it is firmly my belief that if I put to get the equipment and stare at it that I get buff. So, I usually try to spend an hour or so each day staring at it. Hard.  I feel the burn. And sometimes I use it. Take these for instance:

These are awesome, the are the selectable dumb bells. No bulky sets, just these.  I do use them. Once again an app helps with with my routines (Maybe I use too much technology? Nah, hahah, sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, never enough technology.) I've also got a Power Tower and an incline bench.  I will be so buff by the time I stop staring. I hope my shirts still fit.

Other than that going on, I did buy an Xbox One, been playing some games on there, but I've kinda put it aside for now while I work on the bod. In addition to putting some gaming on hold, I've also put the fast food and dining out on hold, making more food myself (ask my family how good it is. I'm a natural in the kitchen.). It's healthier and it's really fun, especially since we got a new dishwasher that actually works and there is not a lot of washing by hand. It's like a dream come true.  I will have update pictures if you want them, maybe making them in 3D so you can see exactly how large my pectorals are.  Notice I said pectorals and not man boobs.

A Bit on Body Art

Some of you know that I like tattoos. I have only one, but I have plans to change that. I do want to mention that these changes will probably be after the calendar, but don't worry - there is always next year.

Some of you may also know that I'm a big fan of Batman and Nightwing (Look it up). My current tattoo is of the 1989 Batman logo on my right upper arm. I plan on getting it (or the 1992, there is a difference) on my chest (post pectoral growth), the Nightwing logo on my upper left arm, and a variation of the Nightwing logo on my back (complete upper back, possibly to upper arms).

My mother won't be happy. She wasn't happy about the one I have now, so I'm going into proactive mode trying to ease into it. You know, your can't upset your momma, and she is always right, so I'm going to be out of luck no matter what. Maybe I'll wear makeup on them? But when I go swimming at their house ... well I couldn't. This requires more thought.

What are your thoughts on tattoos?

Untitled Post About Real Talk

First off, this post has two sections today. The funny section and the serious section. Sorry, I'm bipolar (type 2), deal with it.

Part One
I won't lie, lately it's been rough. Sure I put on a good facade, but I'm a sensitive guy, always have been. In fact, I'm so sensitive, that my skin is sensitive too, and I have to buy all sorts of special hygiene products to handle said sensitive skin. I joke, I know it's not related, but still I am sensitive about my sensitive skin.

I've apparently went on a food bender recently and have gained an inordinate amount of body weight. I am actually at the heaviest weight I've ever been. A lot of it is stress weight, and I'm retaining water. As long as it isn't my fault, then that's the problem.  I have said many times "I'm going on a diet and this time I mean it" and all I would really do was this:

This time, I am more motivated to get the results I want, and to keep them. The up and down of the scale's readings will be no more. One motivational factor is my health. I have a ton of health issues, and I don't want to die just yet, so I have to bring down my weight and BMI. If, however, I can not get the weight off, I will be Santa, forever.

I will be documenting my progress, and I will be taking photos and videos of my progress, but I won't show you. Well, if you ask nicely I might. None of these photos will be going in the calendar though. Not one.

Part Two
Sorry, I mixed both parts together into one part. I don't regret it.

And now for something completely different

I like to post on Facebook. I like to post funny things, witty retorts and the like. Do I do it too much? A recent incident (if you can call it that) has got me thinking about it.  If I'm making fun of myself, why would that offend you? Now, if I were outright being rude to you - sure, be upset with me, I get it.  This inner-searching, as it were, has led me to the conclusion that silence is better than anything.

You see I'm one of those people who try to make lemonade, or something like that. Laughter is the best medicine (at least the best without a prescription) and I like to dish it out to as many people as often as I can. Sure this one comment about my humor upset me, and sure I'm blowing it out of proportion, but they are my feelings and I can use them how I see fit.

I am in such a contemplative state about this that I've even been thinking about deleting a lot of my funny comments, because maybe they offended someone else and they never let me know. So, for all those I have indadvertedly offended:

I'm Sorry.