Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

JAMES Talk


As I have mentioned on social media, I planned on filming my own TED talk type show called the JAMES talk.  Well, I had to do an audio only version of the first talk, and I am working on possibly downing the videos, but currently, my setup isn't allowing me that kind of production value.

The first JAMES Talk is about Healing. I don't claim to hold the secret to how to heal, or heal faster (which sounds nice, but might not be best in the long run), but I do hold some tips that help.  Click Below for the first James Talk!


CLICK HERE - JAMES Talk (Healing)


Until next time dear readers...

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Meetings and Partings

In our life we will have many meetings and partings.  I have spoke about this before. Some partings are final, some are not. Meetings happen all the time. 

Something to think about is that you will have just as many partings as you do meetings, in one way or another. I know it’s morbid,  but eventually we will all have to say goodbye to everyone, so make the time you have with people count. 

Without going into detail out of respect for both parties, let just say I'm not in the same relationship I had been in. I'm not upset about my situation, in fact I have three wonderful ladies who keep me pretty busy as it is.   

I know people like a good story, but the long and the short of it is that sometimes people just are not compatible. It’s the lead a horse to water saying in practical application, going both ways, if that makes sense. I’ve learned a lot about myself, good and bad, but more than anything I discovered my self worth. 

Someone once told me to focus on myself and the right people will enter my life, well, that seems very true at this point. I do have a great support system and a back log of leather projects, so that helps a lot. I am at a point where the future is looking pretty good.  I do have some things to get past, and I do have to get back on my diet and exercise plan that I've neglected. And my writing! I now have so much to add, I might get it completed!

Sometimes things hurt.  Things hurt for a reason.  I have been told for some time from multiple sources, that people come into your life to be a lesson or a blessing, I believe this.  There isn't a positive or negative connotation added to this, it's just a fact. I have learned a lot and although there have been so many reasons for me never to try again, I am and I will, and I'm very happy with that part of my life right now.

Everyday is a struggle. Work (Leather business), depression, anxiety, children, people who want to butt into your business, the list goes on and on.  I'm dealing with it on a daily basis, and it wears me down, but when you have the right and true people in your life, it gets easier, and that's where I'm at, well, I'm at the beginning of that phase.

Thank you for a the birthday wishes yesterday, it made me feel incredibly loved!

There are more adventures ahead, we will just have to see what they are, but rest assured, things will not get dull.

Until next time dear readers...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I Loved Those Pants

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book I Loved Those Pants.

That's my grandfather and me. We played checkers a lot. Every once and a while I would win, I'm sure that he let me win, but I never questioned it, because when I'd win, he'd ask for a rematch. Anything to keep playing checkers with my Pa-Pa. I have a lot of regrets when it comes to things I never did with my Pa-Pa, a good example is that after my first daughter, Victoria, was born, I did not take her by to see him at the Veteran's Hospital where he had been for the previous 5 years. I didn't take her because I was afraid that with all the germs there, my newborn would catch something. My reasoning was sound, I understand that, but less than two weeks after she was born, my Pa-Pa passed away.

It's a regret that I will live with all my life, no matter what. I'm not sure if I'm upset that he didn't get to see her, or that she didn't get to see him, no matter, I'm upset, and will carry that forever. Over the past four and a half years, I've accepted that I can't change the past, but it doesn't mean I have to like it, either. I've also come to realize that my Pa-Pa provided me with some of the best stories, better than ones I could dream up. Today I will tell you one of those stories.

You see, when my sister or I would be allowed to go over to my grandparents for a weekend, it was indeed a treat, for we knew that after that Friday night slumber, there were toys to be bought the next day. My grandparents spoiled us to the point of being ridiculous. I didn't mind. The routine for me was fairly usual. I'd get to go over around Friday evening between 6 and 7, depending on when Dad got home from work and after that, if I hadn't ate they would most likely order pizza1. I would often ride with my grandmother to get the pizza because my grandfather was in a bowling league that played on Friday nights.

After we ate, I took my bath and got into my pajamas, if timing was right I got to watch a little of the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. I remember being away from the living room and hearing the theme from the show playing and I knew that I needed to hurry and get back so I could hear his monologue. I never understood half of the jokes, I was too little, but I knew that my Pa-Pa would usually laugh, and every so often there would be that one joke that would make his eyes water from laughing. As with most people, I was sad when Johnny retired because I knew that no longer would I get to experience those moments, but I digress.

When I was younger my grandmother (or as we called her, Ma-Ma) would lay down with me in bed and read me one or two Dr. Seuss books (she read Green Eggs and Ham especially well). Sometime after I fell asleep, she left me alone to dream. I remember when I was a bit older, either she didn't leave or I slept with my grandfather. They had stopped sleeping in the same bed due to the fact he would involuntarily kick during his sleep. I was lucky, I must have been too short, as I never got kicked. Upon waking, I would smell bacon, I believe there were eggs too, but I know there was bacon and biscuits. I would walk out of the back bedroom, into the living room and see my grandfather with his TV tray in front of his recliner. I can't remember for sure if he would have bacon and eggs, but the item I remember being there on the tray was a small glass (very small) filled with orange juice. He had an affinity for these small glasses that were previously jam or jelly jars, a couple of them had Tom and Jerry on them. I liked that.

After saying my good morning to my grandfather, I made my way into the kitchen to say good morning to my grandmother, who would reply with a hug and a kiss. She would tell me to go into the living room and she would bring me some orange juice. Even then I didn't eat breakfast, and they knew that. I'd go back into the living room and sit or lay down on the couch, my grandfather would get up and change the TV to cartoons for me. They still had a console TV that had to be operated by hand. I was often the remote, but that made me feel important so I was a little depressed when they got a cable box that had a remote. After a little while of watching TV, about the time I would hear my grandfather turn on his cordless electric razor, I would go change clothes. It took my grandfather and me all of 10 minutes to get ready in the morning. I love my grandmother, very much, but she always did one thing that I never understood, and neither did my grandfather - but he never said anything about it. She would get her hair perfect before we left the house, our destination was the beauty salon. Maybe it's like brushing your teeth right before going to the dentist. At any rate, after she was ready, we would leave.

We would all load up in the green Ford Grenada, which had a distinct smell, it was a combination of my grandmothers perfume and the freon which I suspect was leaking slightly. It was intoxicating, I almost didn't want to leave the car upon arriving at the local mall. This particular instance, my grandmother, before leaving us alone to go to the JCPenney beauty salon, gave my grandfather instructions that he needed to look for school clothes with me. It was weird, usually when they bought clothes for me (birthday, Christmas), I wasn't present, this was a first - and later we'd find, a last. As we walked into JCPenney with my grandmother, she bid us good luck and took a right at the jewelry counter, and we took a left, towards the boys section. After looking at a few shirts, pants and jackets, my grandfather, who hated shopping for clothes as much as I did, asked me if I found anything I liked. I did see something. My friend Tyler had a pair of pants that were multicolored, and I loved them. I thought I could pull off that look too, and to my surprise, there were a pair of long jean shorts - black, blue and yellow. I showed them to Pa-Pa, he gave me the green light.

After rejoining my grandmother and doing more shopping (I'm sure they bought me a toy, but this story is about the pants) we ate lunch at Grandy's. My grandfather was cutting my chicken fried steak and I vaguely remember a conversation about the pants. While my grandfather and I knew the pants were a great idea, my grandmother had doubts. Later that afternoon when my parents came over to pick me up and I showed them my pants, I believe the phrase "Are you kidding?" was spoken several times. It didn't matter, I loved those pants. I wore them until I couldn't squeeze into them anymore. I believe it was the next Christmas Eve, which were spent at my grandparents house, the topic of the pants came up. When questioned about why he bought the pants for me, he smiled and said "I liked them."

To this day the pants will come up in conversation. As with most legends, I don't remember what happened to the pants, I think they ended up in donation bin or a garage sale. The legend of the pants however, will be with me forever.


  1. I think they deliver to that area now, but for the longest time, all pizza places stopped delivering to that area after a pizza delivery man was shot and killed down the street fro my grandparents. Ironically I was working for that same pizza company for my first job. My grandmother was very happy when I quit.↩